Without You I Die
by w.o Yu i Die
Summary: Mimi Marquez is back in NYC after rehab. Her Bohemian life is changing though. She doesn't have much time left and the fighting she endures is becoming unbareable. Her message of No Day But Today is becoming old. Can this family suvive?
1. The NYC Addiction

**This is my first Fan Fiction. Hurray! Just to let you know I LOVE RENT. I know every lyric to every song. I loved it way before the movie! So yeah, I am a major RENT Head. Leave Comments, because I love them. Hope you enjoy it!**

**The NYC Addiction**

Mimi Marquez got off the subway. She took a deep breath. The New York air felt so good against her face. New York was like a drug to her. She loved it. She needed it. She hadn't been to New York since last New Year's. It was the hardest "goodbye" of her life. She had to leave her friends, her home, and her love, Roger. Mimi leaned against the wall, thinking about last year.

_"Mimi," Roger said. It was 2:00 a.m. everyone was still partying. It was the New Year! Mimi looked at Roger's deep, concerned eyes._

_"What babe?" she asked._

_"You need to get help. We all talked it over. You need to go to a rehab," he said hoarsely. The party died down slightly. They were all curious to see Mimi's reaction._

_"What?" asked Mimi, shocked. She looked at everyone around her. She pulled away from Roger's hug. _

_"Mimi," Maureen cooed. "You will be leaving tomorrow. It is the right thing to do."_

_"No!" Mimi screamed. "NO! I can change. Please no." She began to sob. Roger went to hold her. She pulled away and ran down the stairs to her room._

_Roger ran after her. _

_"Please Roger," she pleaded. "Please! Give me another chance. I can change. I won't do it again. I promise. I promise Roger. I promise."_

_Roger smiled. He was hoping she would say this. He now could go back to his best friend Mark and tell him that rehab wouldn't be necessary. _

_Roger held Mimi. She sobbed uncontrollably. _

_"Don't make me go," she cried. "I am scared. I wanna stay with you."_

_Roger slowly rocked back and forth, holding her. Eventually Mimi fell asleep. Roger laid her down on her bed. He made his way back upstairs to the party. His friend Tom Collins met him at the door._

_"Is she going?" he asked._

_"No," Roger said. "She promised she would change."_

_Collins gave him a disbelieving look. Maureen and her girlfriend Joanne came up behind him. _

_"Let me guess," said Mark with a disapproving look. "She's changed. She promised she would stop."_

_"Mimi is-" _

_Mark cut off Roger. "Mimi is different and I believe her this time," he mocked._

_Roger's eyes clouded over. He shoved Mark backwards and stormed out of the room. He slammed the door. Then he leaned against the wall and breathed heavily. Roger could hear his friends talking about him through the wall._

"_When is he going to let her go?" Mark asked._

"_He thinks he is helping her, but he is really holding her back and it is destroying this family," Joanne said._

"_Did you ever think about how he feels?" Collins asked. "It hurts to lose someone. I should know." He said, referring to his dead boyfriend, Angel._

_Roger stood up and walked downstairs. He didn't want Mimi to wake up and be alone._

_Mimi followed through with her promise and began to go through withdrawal. In the beginning it was all good, but then, she began to crave her beloved drugs again. _

_Roger came home from the grocery store. He was holding a brown paper bag. _

"_I'm home," he called out. Mimi's usual response did not come back to him._

"_Mimi?" he called out. He heard a faint cry from the bathroom. He dropped the bag and ran to find his girlfriend. _

_Mimi was laying in the bathtub, shivering and sweating. Roger went over and laid a hand on her forehead. _

"_Are you cold or hot?" he asked. _

"_Cold," she murmured. _

_Roger gently scooped her up. He thought her small body was going to break under the hold of his strong arms. He brought her to the futon and sat her down. She began to cry louder. _

"_It hurts all over," she cried. He wrapped the quilt from her bed around her. He then held her close to him. _

"_Withdrawal does that to you," he said. "When I went through withdrawal I was very abusive I used to push Mark around and yell at people." _

"_You still do that," she whispered._

_He smiled and kissed her tear-stained cheek. "Withdrawal is a good thing. You are quitting. I am so proud of you."_

_Mimi smiled and went to sit up. She shivered even more. Roger pushed her back down. _

"_Lay down," he said forcefully. "It is okay."_

"_I can't do this," she cried._

"_Yes you can," Roger said back._

"_It is getting hot," Mimi suddenly cried. Roger knew that feeling, where you are so cold and then your body changes and you are beginning to heat up. He stood up and ran to the bathtub. He ran the cold water and then went back to get Mimi. He gently placed her in the bathtub, with her clothes still on. Roger sat down next to her. He suddenly dozed off._

"_Roger," cried out Mimi, trying to wake him up. Roger woke up and saw Mimi, dripping wet and shivering in front of him. He stood up and scooped her into his arms. He carried her over to the window and sat on the ledge. He held her in his arms as hard as he could. The harder she shivered, the tighter he held her. Mimi pushed herself further towards him, trying to get lost in his hold. He stared out at the sun, which was beginning to set. _

_Roger woke up slumped on the window ledge. He rubbed his temples. That afternoon of carrying Mimi back and forth, drained all his energy._

"_Mimi?" he thought. He went to her bedroom. He saw a lump in the covers and walked over to it. He pulled the covers back. The only thing there was a couple of pillows._

_He went over to the door. Mimi's shoes weren't there. His watch read 10:30 p.m. He grabbed his coat and ran up the stairs. He pushed open the door. Mark was sitting at the table, bending over his camera. _

"_How's Mimi," he said, the minute Roger opened the door._

"_I wouldn't know, I can't find her," he said, kicking the wall._

"_What do you mean?" Mark asked._

"_She was like freaking out and going through withdrawal. I was like holding her and I feel asleep," Roger said angrily_

"_She was going through withdrawal?" Mark asked. "I don't mean to scare you, but when you went through withdrawal, the only thing you wanted was-"_

"_Shit!" said Roger cutting him off and running out the door. _

_He ran into the snow and stumbled on the steps. He ran down the street and made a turn at the alley. He made it to the end and cursed._

_He slowly pulled himself up the wall and when he got to the top he jumped down into a pile of soft snow. He turned left at the end of that alley and stopped._

_He was standing in "The Man's" alley. He knew this alley so well. The smells gave him the urge to run up and buy some smack. His thoughts turned to Mimi, when he saw her standing next to a tall man dressed in a dark green coat._

"_What the hell are you doing?" he yelled. "The Man" turned and ran. Mimi just stood there, holding a bag of crack._

"_Roger!" she cried. "It is not what it looks like." Mark, Maureen, Joanne, and Collins all showed up behind Roger. They were out of breath, when they stopped short behind the two. _

_Roger stepped forward and yanked the powder out of her hands. "You lied to me," he said. He threw the powder back at her. He pushed her backwards, yelling, "YOU LIED TO ME!"_

"_You don't understand," she said, crying. Roger advanced forward._

"_Are you serious? I don't understand? I've been there and done that! Don't give me that bullshit Mimi," Roger yelled._

_Mimi pushed Roger away from her. He stumbled backwards. He then went to push her back. Mark had come forward and grabbed Roger's arm. _

"_Why Mimi? Why would you do this? You promised," Roger whispered._

"_I hate you," Mimi cried. "I hate you!" Maureen came forward and took Mimi's arm. _

"_Come on Mimi," she said. Mimi and Roger held each other's stare for a minute. Then Mimi turned around and walked away._

_That night, Roger was lying in Mimi's apartment. Mimi finally came in around midnight. She walked right past him and went to her room. She began throwing her belongings in a bag. _

_Roger came up behind her. She was sniffling back tears, he could tell._

"_Mimi," he whispered. "I am sorry. I overreacted. It's just……I just don't want you to leave me. I wanted to protect you from drugs and I failed."_

"_Roger, I am leaving for a rehab in Montana tomorrow," she said turning around, suddenly hugging him. "And there is nothing you can do to stop me. I have to go and you know it."_

_Roger was so taken aback by her mature ness. He smiled and returned her hug._

"_I should tell you," he whispered. _

_Mimi put a finger up to his mouth. She pulled him into the moonlight._

"_You know," he said. "A little girl barged into my room once and told me that she wanted to go out tonight."_

"_I don't care where we go," she said, "as long as I am with you."_

_They danced in the moonlight, holding each other as tight as they could._

Mimi opened her eyes. She was still leaning against the wall. She pulled her coat closer to her. Her bag was slung over her shoulder and she made her way up the stairs of the subway, into the bright sun of New York. The plane ride had made her nauseous, so the air felt so good to breath, even though it was filled with fumes. The streets were filled with holiday shoppers and children pressing their faces against store windows. Mimi made her way down the street.

11 months! She could not believe she had been in rehab for 11 months. She felt good to be out. Most of all, she wanted to see Roger.


	2. Past Pains

**Everyday I will be posting one chapter. If anything changes I will let you know. Enjoy!**

**Past Pains**

Roger sat on the window of his apartment. His roommate Mark sat behind him, looking through his camera lens.

"December 20, 1 p.m. eastern standard time. Close on Roger. He is sitting on the window, depressed of course. Mimi took his heart and soul with her to Montana.

"Four days from now will be the anniversary of when I met Mimi," Roger said to the camera.

"You need to move on," Mark said putting the camera down. "It has been 10 months!"

"11," Roger corrected.

"Even better," Mark smirked.

"I just can't get her eyes out of my mind," he said. Then he whispered faintly, "why does distance make us wise?"

Mimi saw her apartment building in the distance. She walked down the alleyway and jumped up in joy. She started humming and walking faster to the end of the alley. She made it to the end and pulled herself up and over the wooden fence. When she hit the other side, there was a familiar face staring at her.

"Mimi Marquez?" the person asked coolly.

"_Oh shit,"_ Mimi thought.

"I haven't seen you since that night your boyfriend started throwing you around the alley," he mocked.

"He was not," Mimi said defensively.

"Well," The Man said. "Let's get to business. I have a whole new shipment. How many grams do you want?"

"None," Mimi said. "I don't do drugs anymore."

"You'll come around," he smirked. "They all do."

Mimi walked away from the one person who destroyed her life, but made it so much easier.

She hadn't noticed, but she was now outside her home. She started climbing the fire escape. She got to the landing underneath Mark and Roger's apartment. She dug through her bag for a simple white candle. It had remnants of wax that had dripped down the side of it. She stood up and came face to face with the back of Roger's head.

"Would you light my candle?" she sang out.

Roger turned around slowly. He saw Mimi and his jaw just dropped. After a second, the reality hit him. He quickly grabbed her and pulled her through the window with ease. Before Mimi even had a chance to breath, she was pulled into a passionate kiss. They stood there for a minute, entangled in each other.

Mimi pulled away and smiled.

"Mimi?" Mark asked, breaking the silence. "What are you doing here?"

"I got out if rehab," she laughed. "Isn't it amazing?"

"Amazing," echoed Mark.

"Mimi," Roger said suddenly, "why don't you go downstairs and I will be right down."

Mimi smiled, ran to give Mark a hug, and then made her way out the door.

"Why can't you be happy for me?" Roger asked when the door shut.

"I am happy," he said dully. "At least we don't have to listen to you mope around for the rest of your life anymore now that Mimi is back," he added under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Roger roared. "You are just jealous, because I have someone who loves me. You are still sore about Maureen leaving you for a _girl._

"Well, at least I am not self-centered," Mark said. "You barely notice Mimi. You only care when she is gone, with someone else, or dieing."

Roger turned pale. Mark had touched upon a rough subject. Mimi had been on her death bed two years ago and almost died. That is when Roger admitted his feelings to her.

"No wonder she cheated on you with Benny," Mark laughed. "She was just trying to get attention. She barely gets any with you in the spotlight constantly. _Oh poor me, I am Roger and I went through withdrawal, my girlfriend April died, my next girlfriend Mimi left me."_

"At least I have someone who loves me," yelled Roger pushing Mark back. "And your work doesn't count as someone." Roger gave one more shove to Mark and stormed out of the room.

"Mimi looks very thin," Mark said quietly as Roger left the room. "I just don't want you to get hurt." He turned around, but then stopped and said hoarsely, "Again."


	3. Too Much

**Hi everyone! Hope you like it so far! Please review:D**

**Too Much**

Mimi sat on her bed waiting for Roger. The door opened and she smiled as Roger came into the room and sat on the bed.

He put his hands instantly around her waist. She did feel much thinner. All the bones in her body were visible. He hadn't noticed that when she came through the window.

"Baby, are you feeling okay?" Roger asked.

"Of course babe," she said, sounding unconvincing.

"Your still taking your AZT right?" he asked sounding scared.

"Of course," she said laughing. "It's just. Well."

"What?" he said. "Tell me."

"Oh Rog," she sighed. "I wanted to wait, but I guess I should just tell you now." She took his big hands in her small ones. "The doctors said my HIV has gotten worse. This may be my last Christmas."

"Mimi," he gasped. "No. You can't leave me again. Not now." He turned and pulled Mimi into a hug. "Please Mimi you can't go."

"Roger, baby," she cooed. "Calm down, I am right here. It's okay. Just promise me one thing." Roger nodded. "Enjoy the holidays and don't tell anyone about what I told you yet. I want the holidays to be merry not sad."

"Mimi," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said.

o o o o o

Mark was sitting at the table again, working on a film, when someone knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"It's me," said a sweet voice on the other end. Mark stood up and opened the door to his x-girlfriend Maureen. She was a wreck. Her mascara was running she was wearing a big t-shirt and sweatpants. She immediately embraced Mark in a hug.

Mark sat her down and got her some coffee from the pot.

"Sorry," he said. "It's cold."

"She left," Maureen said. "Joanne told me to get out. She said she was thorough with my games. I told her I would change. She said get out for good. I begged her to take me back."

"I'm sorry," said Mark, who was clearly delighted to hear that he broke up with Joanne, the woman Maureen left him for.

"I know what it feels like to be dumped," she sobbed. "Again! This is the second time Joanne kicked me out. A couple nights after my show she kicked me out, too. She took me back later and now here I am. Mark, do you hate me?"

"What?" he asked.

"Do you hate me for dumping you on your ass for a girl?" she asked.

"No Maureen," he said. "I don't hate you."

Maureen stood up and went to sit on Mark's lap. She leaned down and kissed him.

"_Oh hell no! This is just too much for one day and is not even cocktail hour," _Mark thought.


	4. Not Today

**Not Today**

"Mimi," Roger called. "What are you doing?"

"Coming, coming," she called out. She ran up to Roger and grabbed his elbow. The two made there way up to Mark's apartment. There was going to be a reunion party at 6:00 p.m. for Mimi's return.

"Mark," Mimi sang out. No one answered.

"Don't be sore Mark," Roger said, thinking he was still mad about the argument.

Mimi pushed open the door, to find Maureen sitting on Mark's lap, with her tongue down his throat.

"Maureen?" said Mimi and Roger at the same time.

Maureen turned around. "Oh my god! Mimi?" Maureen pushed herself off of Mark and went over to hug her friend.

"Hi Maureen," said Mimi slowly looking from her to Mark.

"How are you? You look thin," Maureen said pointing at Mimi's stomach.

"She is fine," said Roger defensively.

Mimi blushed as she looked at Roger.

Mark stood up and went to heat up the coffee. Collins came walking in just as Mark was coming back with the warmed coffee.

"Mimi Marquez?" he asked. He ran over and hugged her. Mimi smiled. Poor Tom had lost the love of his life after New Year's three years ago. Ever since the funeral, Tom had become a serious person.

"You're thin," he whispered in her ear.

"She's fine Tom," Roger said forcefully. Everyone became quiet at that.

To break the silence, Mimi's AZT beeper went off. She blushed again and pulled out her capsule of pills. Roger went to get her a glass of water. She took her pills and then looked at everyone who was patiently waiting for her to say something.

"How has everyone been?" Mimi asked. That question broke the ice. The five of them all sat around and chatted about the last year. Roger broke away from the group and went onto the fire escape to smoke a cigarette. Mimi followed him out.

"Can you stop?" she said.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"This whole over-protective act. I am a big girl. I can handle myself," she said.

"I just want to keep you safe," he said putting his hand on her cheek.

She pulled back. "Safe from what?" she asked, "death?"

"Mimi, don't say that," he said, raising his voice.

Mimi laughed. "You can't save me from death. You can just give me the best last year on Earth. The best 525,600 minutes of my life," she said slowly.

"Mimi," he said. "I just don't want to do something I regret."

Mimi reached out and grabbed his hand. "Forget regret."

"Or life is yours to miss," he smiled.

Mimi walked back inside, but Roger stayed outside, to finish his cigarette. As he was taking his last drag, he saw "The Man," emerge from under the fire escape and run down the street.

"What is he doing here?" Roger thought out loud. He swung his body over the railing and onto the stairs. Once he hit the ground, he took off, running after the one person he hated the most at the moment.

"Roger Davis," said a voice in front of him. "Long time no see."

"Hello Gordon," Roger replied. "I thought you quit."

"Nope," he said. "I will never quit. This is my life."

"Gordon," Roger laughed. "I saw how scared you were at the Life support meeting two years ago. I thought you had finally woken up from this drug world of yours."

"Listen Roger, around these parts, I will always be 'The Man'," he smirked.

"I don't care what you do," Roger roared. "Just stay away from Mimi. She isn't a junkie anymore."

"She'll come around," Gordon said. "They always do." He took out a packet of pure white crack. Gordon dangled it under Roger's nose. Roger felt a twinge of want. He knew he would never be totally detached from the drug. The addiction instilled itself into him permanently. He reached for the packet. Then, Mimi's eyes came into his head. He dropped it into the snow.

"No Gordon," Roger said hoarsely walking away. "Not today."


	5. Kiss Me It's Beginning To Snow

**Kiss Me It's Beginning to Snow**

Mimi was still sitting with Collins, Mark, and Maureen when Roger climbed back through the window.

"So," Mimi was saying. "Are you and Mark dating again Maureen?"

Mark swallowed hard. Maureen laughed.

"I don't know," she laughed. "Are we Mark?"

"Uh….I…..don't…..know," Mark stuttered.

"Sure," Maureen laughed. "What the hell. Joanne left me and I might as well date a guy for a change." She leaned over and kissed Mark.

Collins and Mimi laughed loudly.

"Well," Collins said. "It is getting late. I better get going. I have school tomorrow. NYU accepted me to teach!"

"Oh Collins," said Mimi, jumping up to hug him.

Roger felt the urge to separate the two. He didn't know why, but all of a sudden he had become very jealous lately.

"I better get going too," Mimi said. "I have work."

"What?" Roger asked, stunned.

"Bye Meems," Maureen and Mark said simultaneously.

Mimi and Roger walked out together after Collins. Mimi quickly rushed down the stairs and into their room. Roger ran after her.

"Mimi," he said. "Where are you going?"

"Work," Mimi replied smiling.

Roger grimaced at the thought of Mimi dancing at the Cat Scratch club. He didn't approve of her job, but it was her only source of income.

"I will walk you there," he said.

"Okay," said Mimi slowly. She took the hairclip out of her. Her long brown locks flowed around her face.

"What," she asked.

"Nothing," Roger replied smiling, "your hair in the moonlight."

Mimi laughed and grabbed his hand. She led him out into the streets. It was cloudy and dark. Mimi shivered slightly.

Mark scooped her up and began to run down the street with her. She was squealing and laughing.

"Put me down Roger," she cried. Roger knew she really didn't mean it though. He suddenly tripped over the curb and they fell to the ground. Snow was all over Mimi's face. Roger reached over and brushed it off. Mimi suddenly pointed up. Roger looked and saw snow beginning to fall to the ground.

"Kiss me, it's beginning to snow," she whispered.

o o o o o

"Marquez," said the stage manager. "You're on in five." Mimi nodded. She was standing in the alley outside The Cat Scratch Club.

"Bye Roger," she said.

"I will pick you up after," he replied. He hated leaving her at the club, but he knew if he went in, he would get mad at some people who were looking at her with admiration or whistling.

As he made his way around to the front of the building, he saw Gordon on line to get in.

"What are you doing here?" Roger asked, confronting him.

"Seeing an old friend perform, I figured after I could walk her home," Gordon laughed.

"Well you can't," Roger said.

"Have fun waiting outside," Gordon said.

Roger pushed past Gordon and made his way into the club. He hadn't been in there for the past two years. It hadn't changed. The smell of smoke still filled the dimly lit area. He took a seat towards the back, because he did not want Mimi to see him. He saw Gordon move his way to the front of the stage.

He sat there grimly when Mimi came on the stage. He was proud to think that the beautiful girl on the stage was his girlfriend, but sad that he had to share her at the moment with so many other men.

"Ow," cried out Mimi as she started to dance. Roger noticed Gordon throw her a ten dollar bill. Mimi slowly picked it up and stuck it in her bra and continued with her dance number.

"Hell no," said Roger walking towards Gordon. He put his face a few inches from the drug sellers and said fiercely, "stay away from Mimi."

"You are the one thing that is holding her back from having the time of her life," Gordon smirked.

Roger lifted his arm and punched Gordon square in the mouth. The music suddenly stopped as the two wrestled around on the ground.

Two security guards came over and held the two men off of each other. Just when Roger thought the fight was over, he heard a shrill voice say his name.

"Roger!" screamed Mimi. "What are you doing?" She jumped down off the stage and stood in front of Roger. It was a comical sight, seeing a young, short girl yelling at the strong, 6 foot tall Roger. Roger immediately backed off when Mimi started speaking in fast Spanish. He didn't know what she was saying, but it was probably bad.


	6. Love Is

**Hi Guys! Sorry. I haven't posted any new chapters in a while. I have just been so busy. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Love Is**

Roger waited along the side door for Mimi to come out. The minute the door opened Roger started talking.

"Mimi I am so sorry. I didn't mean to start anything, but I just thought that Gordon was going to try and sell you a gram and I got scared. You are-"

"Roger Davis! I cannot believe you do not trust me! This is still my first day back. I have not even been here for 24 hours and already we have fought." She leaned against the wall in frustration. "What is happening to us baby?" she whispered.

"Mimi," Roger said. "I don't know. I want to trust you. I want everything to be alright, but it is so hard to believe what you say. You promised me a year ago that you wouldn't do drugs and you did. I just don't know anymore."

"What is there to know?" she cried. "I love you. Why isn't that enough?"

"It is enough," Roger said defensively.

"Then why are we dwelling on this," she said. "Love is about trusting desire and starting to learn. Now Roger, you need to learn that I won't ever betray you. You need to trust your desire to be with me. You need to walk through every fire and believe that you won't get burned. Love is about clinging a shoulder. Love is where the leap begins. Stinging and older, being asleep on pins."

Roger smiled at his girlfriend. They walked home together arm in arm. Mimi hated how they always got into little fights here and there, but then made up two seconds later. One on hand, it showed how strong their love for each other was, but on the other hand, it was eating away at their lives and adding more things to be angry about later.

When they got home, Mimi went directly to sleep. She had not slept in her bed in 11 months. She threw herself onto the mattress and took a deep breath. Roger had not cleaned her apartment in 11 months, either.Luckily, Mimi was sound asleep, so he had time to straighten up. He did not want to get hell from her in the morning. He went to the bathroom first. He opened the mirror and found about 10 syringes and 3 packets of smack. He grabbed them in his fist. They were definitely old, which meant she was true to her word about staying off drugs. He walked slowly to the garbage can and dropped them in. After another half hour, Roger finally crawled into bed next to Mimi. Mimi began to stir as he climbed in. She rolled over and smiled. Roger kissed her on the head and closed his eyes.

o o o o o

A loud obnoxious knock woke up Mimi the next morning. She rolled over Roger and shuffled over to the door. The minute she opened it, she saw her x-boyfriend Benjamin Coffin III.

Mimi instantly pushed him back out the door. She closed the door behind her and put her finger to her lips.

"What are you doing here?" she cried.

"Hi to you too," Benny said opening his arms. Mimi leaned into the hug, half-heartedly.

"Roger will murder you if he sees you here," Mimi whispered. "You need to go?"

"You're still dating that scum. I thought you went to rehab to _fix_ your life," Benny smirked.

Mimi glared at him. Benny coughed nervously and continued, "Listen, I just wanted to stop by and say hi. If you need anything I am always here. You know that right?"

"Of course I do," Mimi smiled. "It is nice to see you too."

"Maybe we could go out to eat later," Benny offered.

"Call me," she whispered. She walked back into the house. Roger was thankfully, still asleep. Mimi looked at the old clock on the wall. It was dusty and pathetic looking. The only reason she kept it around was, because when she was 16, her and her friends stole it from a diner in town. Every time she looked at it, it reminded her of the days where she had so many opportunities and when she was healthy. It read 7 a.m.

"Typical Benny," she thought. "He always did wake up very early. Probably on his way to work. Probably on his way to make the plans for evicting us." She sighed as she thought about her days with Benny. In many ways, she missed him. It was easier to be with a powerful man from the upper class, instead of being with an x-druggie who played his guitar all day. She also loved Roger more than anything and would never leave him, no matter how hard it was to be with him. She walked back into her bedroom and saw Roger, still sound asleep. She laughed as he let out a small snore. She reached under the covers and put her cold hands on his stomach.

"SHIT," yelled Roger. He jumped out of bed. "What the heck Mimi?" He had an angry look on his face, but it was obvious he was trying with all his might to suppress a laugh.

"Good morning babe," Mimi said in a happy voice.

"I am going to get you back," smirked Roger.

"You just try," Mimi flirted.

Mimi went over to the cabinet. Nothing was in it.

"Roger," she said. "Have you been in my room at all since I left?"

Roger smiled sheepishly.

Mimi grabbed her robe from a nearby chair and walked upstairs. She knocked on Mark and Maureen's door. She heard laughter on the other side of the door.

"Open up," Mimi said.

No one answered, so Mimi pushed open the door. Mark was lying on the bed and Maureen was on top of him, kissing him vigorously.

Mimi coughed. Maureen turned quickly, but in the process, fell off the bed. Mimi laughed.

"Do you have any food?" Mimi asked.

"I wish," Mark said. "A box of Cap'n Crunch would taste so good."

"I think we have a piece of stale bread in the cabinet," Maureen teased.

"Yum," she laughed. She turned around and walked back downstairs. She opened the door and was met by Roger, whose face was clouded over.

"What babe?" she asked.

"Your cellular just rang," he said. He held up the phone. "Why don't you see who called."

Mimi snatched the phone away from him. It wasscratchedand really cheap.Benny had given it to her as a gift when they were dating. She flipped the phoneopenand checked her call history. "Benny," she whispered.

"WHY THE FUCK IS HE CALLING," Roger roared.

"CAN YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS," Mimi yelled. "WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU LATELY. I REALLY CAN'T STAND IT. I CAME DOWN HERE TO SEE IF YOU WANTED TO GO OUT TO BRUNCH!" She calmed down and gave him a dark look, "but I think I will call Benny."

"If you take another step," Roger whispered harshly.

"What are you going to do about it," Mimi yelled. She stormed out of the room and ran down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and took a deep sigh. She began to let the tears flow. She heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw Maureen sitting on the step above her.

"What happened, Mimi," Maureen asked. "This is your second day in New York and you and Roger have already had 3 fights."

"I love him so much," Mimi said. "He is just so overprotective of me. I can't stand it. I am really considering leaving him."

"You can't," Maureen whined. "When you left for rehab, Roger totally shut down. It was even worse, than when April died." Mimi cringed at Roger's dead girlfriend's name. She was the reason Roger had AIDS. She has the reason Roger was so bitter. "He just sat in his room and played that stupid guitar. He went back to smack. He-"

"What?" Mimi practically yelled. Maureen threw her hand over her friend's mouth.

"Shhhh," Maureen hissed. "He only took two hits. Two days after you left, I walked into your room and saw Roger in the corner shooting. He saw me and had tears in his eyes. He pleaded with me and made me promise I wouldn't tell Mark. I agreed, but I made him give me the needle. He said he had found it in your cabinet and couldn't resist. That night though, Mark caught him on tape doing it again. I totally flipped on him. After that, he stayed out of your room."

"Oh my god," Mimi cried.

"Let's face it," Maureen said. "You are a tease to him. You give strangers lap dances all day. You are getting thinner. He isn't sure if you and Benny are over or not. He just isn't sure. So, the way he keeps it certain that you won't leave him, is by treating you like a daughter, someone he can boss around and protect."

Mimi stood up and slowly walked up the stairs. Maureen reached out and gave her a reassuring pat on her arm.

"Roger Davis," she said, walking through the door of her apartment. Roger started to stand up. "Sit down! We are going to talk. Now! I want to get things straight with you."

"Fine," Roger mumbled.

"I do not love Benny. I repeat me and Benny are over! You need to stop freaking out every time I am out of sight. You need to start being happy and fun to be around. I really love you, but loving you has become harder and harder," Mimi cried.

"Meems," Roger said. "I am just so afraid you are going to leave."

"Roger! I love you," she said. "Not anyone else, you!"

"I am not talking about that," he said. "I mean, you are sick. You said so yourself. I am scared you are going to die."

"What makes you think that I am not scared for you," Mimi cried. "I go to sleep at night, thinking about being alone. I just have to keep telling myself, 'No Day but Today.'"

"Mimi," he cried. "I am sorry. I just need to………" he stood up to go, but Mimi pushed herself in front of the door.

"Roger, you need to tell me that you will try harder," Mimi said looking deeply in his eyes.

"Mimi, I will try. I just don't trust myself anymore," Roger said. Mimi came forward and hugged him.

"Well," she whispered. "Love is not a three-way street. You can never share real love until you love yourself."

Roger smiled. "What would I do without you without you Mimi?" he whispered.


	7. The Purple Flower

**The Purple Flower**

"Christmas is in two days people! I want this place spotless for Jesus' birthday!" Collins laughed. Mimi, Roger, Maureen, and Mark were all furiously cleaning the loft.

Suddenly, Mark stopped. "I'm Jewish Collins."

"Well then you better clean extra hard!" Collins smirked. Mark mumbled something under his breath.

Two hours later, the loft was as spotless as it would ever be. Roger sat on the couch that was held together with duck tape and string. Miraculously though, it had seen 3 years of life. The couch never failed them.

Mimi came over and sat on his lap. Roger had one hand up to his head and the other around Mimi's waste.

"What is wrong baby?" she asked.

"I feel real dizzy," he answered. He saw Mimi's concerned look. "I'm fine, though."

"Okay," said Mimi slowly.

Collins stood at the steel table that had served as a dance table for Angel and a deathbed for Mimi so many years ago. "Could I bring a friend for Christmas?" he asked quickly.

Everyone sat and stared at him in shock. After a few moments, Maureen stood up. "Of course Tom," she laughed. "Who is the lucky guy?"

"You'll have to wait and see," Collins winked. Everyone laughed at the expression on Collin's face. For once, he looked very happy.

"Okay party is over," Maureen said. "Mark and I need some alone time."

"So are you two together? Or was a couple nights ago a joke?" Roger asked.

"What the heck," Maureen said. "Why not? I mean, Joanne did tell me to grow up. I think dating Mark is a mature decision."

Mark laughed nervously. Mimi, Roger, and Collins made their way downstairs.

"Night you guys," said Collins to the young couple.

Mimi and Roger walked into their apartment. Mimi stepped onto the window sill and pushed open the window.

"It stopped snowing," she said mysteriously. She stepped out onto the fire escape.

"What are you thinking?" he asked mysteriously.

Mimi just laughed and gave him a look that said, "Trust me."

Roger followed her onto the fire escape. Mimi grabbed his hand and pulled him off the fire escape and onto the street.

"Where are we going?" Roger asked. He was starting to get used to these random little adventures Mimi took him on.

She made her way down the alley and laid on her back. She began to make a snow angel.

"Mimi you are so weird," Roger laughed.

Mimi sat up and gave him an offended look. "I am sorry that I enjoy having fun," she exclaimed.

"I like to have fun too," Roger protested. He grabbed a lid off of a nearby garbage can. He ran up the side a pile of garbage, covered with snow. He stood on the top of the pile and snowboarded down. He slid to a stop and dove on Mimi, showering her with kisses.

"Roger," Mimi cried. "Stop!" They fell into the snow laughing. Mimi again started making more snow angels.

"Kinda reminds me of Angel," Roger said, referring to Collins late boyfriend Angel. Angel had come into their life and changed it forever. Mimi sat up with a tear in her eye. Roger pulled her into a hug. His arms were cold, but comforting.

"Oh my gosh," Mimi gasped. She pointed over to the corner of the alley. Roger turned and saw a vibrant purple flower, poking out of the snow. Mimi stood up and went to go pick it. She then slowly walked back to the snow angel she made and laid it on the ground.

"It is a tribute to Angel," Mimi whispered.

"It is perfect," Roger responded.

**Just wanted to know if anyone knew what the color of the flower represents! Send me a message if you know. (I am talking about the color, not the flower in general) I love symbolic terms. :)**

**Also. I am getting a lot of e-mails and some people are starting to think I am going to abandon this Fic. Well I am most definitely not going to abandon it! So keep checking in. I already have half the story completed, so I guarantee I am going to be posting about 10 more chapters in the next week. Also I write more every day. This is not a one-shot and it will have an ending. So keep reading and reviewing!**


	8. Christmas Morning

**Hi Everyone. Okay, Winter Break is coming up. Whoo-hoo. Sorry, but I have to change the name of the story. It is now called Without You I Die. Great song! Anyway, please review!**

**Christmas Morning**

Christmas morning, Mimi woke up to freezing cold hands on her stomach.

She screamed and opened her eyes to see Roger laughing at her.

"Tu eres un idioco y muy estupido y"- Mimi was cut off by a deep kiss from Roger.

"Merry Christmas baby," he said. He lifted her into his arms and swung her off the bed. "Hurry up and get dressed. We are going to go up to the loft."

Mimi went over to the dresser and pulled out her black skirt and red tights. She grabbed her sweatshirt and threw it over her shirt.

"Ready?" asked Roger.

"Almost," Mimi said. She pulled him into a kiss and pushed him onto the bed.

o o o o o

Maureen was sitting on the bed with a Santa hat on. Mark was lying next to her setting up his camera.

"I really hate competing with that damn thing," Maureen said pointing to the camera.

"What do you mean?" he asked, distracted.

"I have been awake for 2 hours and you haven't even given me a merry Christmas kiss yet," she pouted.

For once, Mark set the camera aside. He leaned over and gave Maureen a very long kiss.

"Merry Christmas," he said dully. She laughed as he gave her a dorky smile. There was a knock on the door and Maureen bolted off the bed to answer it.

"Joy to the world," Mimi sang out.

"Mark is still in bed," Maureen sang back.

"Tell him……to get……..him ass up!" Roger sang, finishing their little song. The two other girls laughed.

Mark was standing behind Maureen.

"Merry Christmas," Mimi and Roger said at the same time.

Maureen pointed to a small shrub, sitting on the counter. It was wrapped in Christmas tree lighting.

"Like our tree?" she asked.

Mimi made her way to the couch, followed by Roger. He was carrying his guitar. Maureen sat on the floor and Mark was on the table.

"I wonder who Collins is bringing," Maureen said. "I hope he is cute." Mark sat there staring at her. "Just kidding Pookie," she answered.

A few minutes later Collins entered. Behind him was a small girl about the age of 14. She looked scared.

"Hi everyone," he laughed. "This is Maya. She will be joining us today."

Everyone sat there for a moment. Mimi stood up and took Maya's hand.

"Hi," she said. "I am Mimi. This is my boyfriend Roger. That is Maureen and her boyfriend Mark." Mimi gestured to all the people around her.

Everyone smiled and waved. Collins sat in Mimi's spot and laughed as Mimi brought Maya over to the kitchen and got her a piece of bread.

"I see Mimi likes kids," Collins laughed. The three of his friends just stared at him.

"I will explain later," Collins whispered.

Mimi looked over at him with a look that said, _"Who is she?"_ Collins returned it with a look that said, _"Take Maya out of the room."_ Mimi understood immediately. It was scary how she could communicate with Collins so easily.

"Come on Maya," she said. "I want to show you the fire escape." Maya gave her a weird look and followed her.

Once the windows closed, Collins began his story. "Her father, Dale worked with me at NYU. He passed away last week. I was with him when he died." Collins stopped, to choke back tears. "He asked me to take care of her. She has no mother, Dale's girlfriend fled right after the funeral and her biological parents are most likely dead. So I took her in. I had to go to court and everything for the past two days. If everything works out I am going to adopt her."

Maureen jumped up. "Oh my god! How exciting. Do you two get along?"

"Surprisingly, yes, she took to me right away. She is an extraordinary girl. She is so intelligent and she wants to grow up and be a spokesperson and spread the news about AIDS. Her father had AIDS. That is why she is so interested in it."

"Wow! Collins that is……..is…….amazing," Mark said. Roger shook his head.

"Where are you going to stay?" Roger asked.

"That leads me to my next question," Collins said. "I am doing fine at the small homes they provide for the professors at NYU. I just don't think it is an appropriate home for Maya. If I could keep her here with you guys for a little while, until I get enough money for a home for us."

"Of course she can, Collins," Maureen laughed. She can stay in Roger's old room."

Collins sighed with relief. He smiled at his friends. He was so glad they would always be there for him.

"That was the first fire escape I saw Roger on and the first fire escape I climbed up, to barge into his room," Mimi laughed, re-entering the room with Maya. Maya smiled when she saw Collins and waved to him.

"Hi Tom," she said. Collins smiled and waved her over to him.

"I have a question for you," he said seriously. "How would you like to stay here with Mark and Maureen until I have a place for us to stay?"

"Does Mimi live here?" she asked.

"One floor down," Mimi laughed.

"Okay," Maya said. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Of course," Collins said. "I will visit everyday after work and I will stay here on the weekends."

Maya smiled. Collins was so happy everything was working out. He just hoped she would be as eager as now, when she finds out he might adopt her.

Maureen stood up with a small brown bag. She handed out a milk carton to each of her friends. On the carton, was a cow jumping over the moon. Everyone laughed. It was a symbol of her last protest where her main theme was a cow jumping over the moon to get away from Bohemia.

Collins pulled out a box of Cap'n Crunch and a bottle of champagne.

"Food," everyone said thankfully.

"Cap'n crunch," Mark said dreamily.

"There is more to life than cereal," Maureen protested.

"If there was no cereal I would have no reason to live," he said. Maureen glared at him. "Except you Maur," he added.

Everyone laughed as Maureen gave him a punch on the arm.

Maya looked around at everyone. She could not believe that they were thankful for a box of cereal and wine. At her house, she was so spoiled. She was now starting to realize it. She realized what it was like to have nothing, but each other.

Roger pulled out his guitar and started playing some Christmas tune. Maureen and Mimi started dancing.

"Turn up the beat," Mimi protested. She was used to quick, fast dances. Slow dances bored her. She only danced slowly with Roger, but never in public really.

"Come on Maya," Mimi said, pulling up the little girl. She took her away from the couch and started spinning her around and dancing with her.

"Don't turn her into a whore, like you," Maureen yelled, laughing. Roger couldn't help but laugh as Mimi turned to Maureen with her hands on her hips.

"You are just jealous that I can shake it," Mimi responded.

Everyone laughed as Mimi began shaking her butt to the tune on Roger's guitar.

"Don't be rotting Maya's brain," Collins laughed.

Maya smiled. It was too late for that.


	9. Last Christmas's

**Last Christmas's**

Mark stood up towards the end of the night. Maureen was sitting on the couch next to Mimi, who was on Roger's lap as usual. Maya was sitting on the table next to Collins. Mark coughed loudly to get everyone's attention.

"I made a video for the occasion. It is the last three Christmas's of our lives. I hope you enjoy it," Mark laughed.

He turned on the projector and a film came on the screen. The first shot was Roger sitting on the table with his guitar.

"_December 24, 9 p.m. eastern standard time. From here on in I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it, instead of my old shit," said Mark's voice from behind the camera. Roger sat there trying to tune his guitar while Mark continued to tease him about the guitar and his withdrawal. _

_The next shot was darkness. "Light up a mean blaze," yelled Mark's voice._

"_With posters," responded Roger._

_"And screen plays," Mark moaned. A fire ignited and the camera shot went onto the balcony where many other neighbors were throwing fire into the street. Mimi was in the corner of the shot, looking up at Roger. _Roger squeezed her hand tightly when he saw her on the film.

_The next shot was Angel dancing around the loft. The next shot was Collins, Mark, and Roger lying on the couch, laughing and goofing around._

_The next shot was a quick part of Maureen's protest. _Maureen clapped loudly when she saw herself.

_"So what are your plans for the new year?" said Mark's voice. It was blended in with the clip from the Life Café. The camera faded and came in on Angel and Collins, sitting on the couch._

_"I am going to be a famous model. I am going to travel the world with Thomas Collins at my side," Angel said primly._

_Collins laughed. "I just want a job at NYU, and of course to be with Angel, the love of my life!" _Collins wiped a tear from his eye, when he saw Angel on the screen.

_That clip faded and came onto Mimi, sitting on Roger's lap, laughing._

_"I'm giving up my vices. I'm going back, back to school," Mimi said._

_"I am writing one more great song," Roger said. Mimi turned and kissed him._

_"Wave goodbye," Mark said, from behind the camera._

_"Get the fuck out of here," Roger and Mimi said laughing._

_The next shot was Maureen. Her full face was in the shot. _

_"Give me the camera," she whined. _

_The camera suddenly turned and Mark was standing there, looking angry and embarrassed._

_"Give it back Maureen," he said._

_"Not until you tell me your plans," she whined._

_"Fine," he said. "I am trying to worry less about my work and more about……..I don't know, other stuff. Now give it back!"_

_"That is not a good way to start off your resolution," she laughed. _

_Mark lunged for the camera. The screen went black._

_The next scene was a simple shot of Angel's tomb. The camera turned and showed Collins leaning against a tree, silently crying._

_The following scene was next Christmas. Mimi was standing next to Roger, she was crying. Mark was around the corner, filming, so the couple wouldn't see him._

_"Mimi," Roger roared. "Where were you?"_

_"No where," she cried._

_"You're lying to me," Roger screamed. "Why are you lying?" Roger grabbed her shoulders, clinging to her. "Why?"_

_Mimi pulled away, trying to hide her tears._

_The next shot was Maureen on her knees, next to Joanne. They were fighting about some model being at the house._

_"December 24, 6 p.m. eastern standard time. As you can see," said Mark's voice. "There is a lot of fighting going on."_

_The next shot was Mimi boarding the bus. "Bye," she mouthed to Roger. _

_The next shot was Roger sitting in the corner of Mimi's room. His back was to the camera, but you could still see him holding up a needle._

At seeing this shot, Roger stood up. "Okay," he said. "Your little Christmas video is over."

"Wait," Mark said. "Keep watching."

_The next shot was the group, minus Mimi. They were all holding hands at the Life Support meeting. They were all smiling and singing No Day But Today._

_The next shot was the current Christmas. Mark was filming Collins calling out cleaning orders._

_The next shot was Maureen dancing around the Christmas shrub. _

_The next shot was Roger holding his guitar, playing some foreign Christmas song. His tongue was poking out of his mouth, in concentration._

_The next shot was Mimi making a snow angel in the alley._

_The next shot was Collins, pulling out the champagne and the Cap'n Crunch. Maya was right next to him._

_The final shot was back to their first Christmas together. The following scenes went very fast._

_It went from Collins and Angel dancing down the street, to Maureen and Joanne dancing at the Café, to Mimi and Roger singing Without You, to all of them waving to the camera. Everyone looked so happy. Angel was holding Collins, smiling her toothy smile. Mimi and Roger were looking into each other's eyes. Maureen was waving and yelling, "Woo-hoo," while Joanne just smiled primly._

The screen went black. Everyone turned to Mark.

"Was it good?" he asked.

"Your best one yet," Maureen laughed.

Mimi nodded.

Roger clapped slowly. Mark saw the shock, joy, and sadness on his friends' eyes. He knew that his movie was a hit.

Suddenly, the door flew open. Benjamin Coffin III stood in the doorway. He smiled a wicked grin.

"Merry Christmas," he laughed.

Nobody responded. They all just looked at him. Mimi put a tight grip around Roger's arm.

"I just wanted to say Merry Christmas," he repeated.

"Merry Christmas Benny," Collins said.

"Merry Christmas," Mimi chirped.

"Yea," Maureen said.

Mark nodded at him, but Roger just kept staring.

"I actually had an alternative motive for coming here tonight. It turns out that my company is buying the Cat Scratch Club. They are going to knock it down and make a food mart. So Mimi, you have a month left of work. Sorry for the inconvenience," he said. "Goodbye everyone." He turned to leave, but stopped. He swung around and looked at Mimi. "Call me," he said, pointing to her, grinning. He quickly left the room as Roger turned slowly to Mimi.

Mimi gave him a deadly look that said, "Not here!" Roger backed down, but still stared at her.

"Well," said Collins. "That was weird."

"Agreed," Maureen said.

"Who was that?" Maya asked.

"Benjamin Coffin III," Mark said. "X-roommate, X-friend, & X-boyfriend to Mimi."

"Oh," Maya said. She looked at Roger. Those words looked like they had sent a knife through Roger's heart. There was so much Maya did not know about this new family she was entering. She was determined to find out all the secrets.

**If you haven't noticed, this Fic combines scenes from the Broadway Play and the Movie. I really hope you are enjoying it. Reviews please!**


	10. Roger's Number One Star

**Hi everyone! Kay. I am getting _rude _comments from my best friend Casy. She is being an idiot and leaving mean comments, because she is gay like that. Anyway, I got an e-mail saying I should report her, so I just wanted to let everyone know that she is really joking and doesn't actually hate the story. Kay. Hope you enjoy it. Please Read & Review….. **

**Roger's Number One Star**

"That fuck," Mimi ranted, "That friggen idiot! I cannot believe he would close down my only job."

"I cannot believe he told you to call him," Roger said. He was sitting on the couch, watching Mimi pace back and forth. They had left the party an hour ago. Mimi had been upset ever since.

"He is just trying to get you angry and it seems to be working," Mimi said. She turned and kicked the wall, leaving a dent from the toe of her boot.

"Calm down baby," Roger said. He walked over and pulled her onto his lap. He began giving her a gentle massage on her shoulders.

"Sure," Mimi complained. "Now all of a sudden you're the calm one."

"I am trying to change," Roger reminded her. "Remember?"

"Yes," Mimi said. She turned and gave Roger a delicate kiss. "I am going to bed, Merry Christmas."

"Wait," he said. He pulled her back onto his lap. He reached into the pocket of his coat. He pulled out a small silver box.

She opened it. Inside was a simple silver necklace. It was a star and in the middle was a beautiful diamond.

"It isn't much," Roger said, "but I saved for it all year. I wanted to get my number one star something special. "Merry Christmas!"

Mimi had tears in her eyes. "It is the best gift I have ever gotten," she cried. Roger lifted up her hair and put it around her neck. He fumbled for a minute with the clasp, but managed to put it on her.

Mimi stood up and twirled around. The diamond twinkled in the moonlight. She smiled," I feel like the luckiest girl in the world."

o o o o o

Roger woke up, shivering. Besides the fact that he had on sweatpants, two sweatshirts, and a pair of socks, he was still freezing cold.

Mimi was not next to him, like usual. He got up to go find her. He walked into the living room. Maya was sitting on the couch.

Roger jumped at the sight of her.

"Good morning," she said.

"What are you doing here?" Roger asked grumpily.

Mimi suddenly walked in. She was dressed for work, but all Roger noticed was her necklace. Mimi was fingering it and smiling.

"I am taking Maya to work with me," Mimi said. "Maya loves to dance, so I wanted her to see the club."

Roger nodded. He was kind of upset, because he had planned to spend the day with her, but Roger had learned not to interfere with Mimi's plans.

"Ready?" Mimi asked, turning to Maya.

Maya nodded and headed for the door. Mimi gave Roger a kiss and left.

"Are you going to marry Roger?" Maya asked, once they were on the street.

"I don't know," Mimi laughed.

"Well," Maya continued. "Don't you wish you were free from having to be loyal to another man?"

"Not really," Mimi said. "I did enough of that when I was younger. It feels good to settle down."

"It seems to me that Roger is keeping you from having the good life," Maya said. "I say, 'say la vie' to Roger."

"You don't like Roger, do you?" Mimi asked.

"He isn't the warmest person," Maya said.

"He has been through more than you can imagine," Mimi said. "He isn't always that bitter. Christmas is a hard time for him, a hard time for all of us. The first Christmas I met him, he was going through withdrawal and his girlfriend April Gerhard had died 6 months before. It was pretty bad."

"Have you ever taken drugs?" Maya asked suddenly.

Mimi stopped and hesitated. "Yes," she said finally.

"Are they fun?" Maya asked.

"I won't lie. The rush feels great. They do more harm than anything, though. You should stay away from them," Mimi said sternly.

Maya turned and looked at her. "Please Mimi. I am 14. I think I can handle myself. The alphabet city is not as hard as it seems. I am a big girl."

Mimi laughed. "Okay," she said, "now you definitely sound like me."

Maya smiled. That is just what she wanted to be. The minute she met Mimi, she knew she wanted to be just like her.

A red car passed and it honked its horn. Mimi held up her middle finger. Maya smiled. She could not believe she just got honked at. She smiled.

_"Oh,"_ she thought, _"the city is going to be fun." _She smiled and ran to catch up with Mimi.


	11. Table For Two

**Sorry I have not updated in a while. I have been on break and too busy watching RENT. I am now the proud owner of it. I made my dad go get it at like 11 at night and then I was like screaming with joy when I got it. Ha Ha. Anyway, if you have the DVD-2 disc, you need to watch the special features. It will piss you off, because they cut like some really good songs. Also, watch the NO DAY BUT TODAY Documentary. I cried so hard. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Review me please, because I am a major review whore.**

**Table For Two**

Roger sat on Mimi's bed, playing his guitar. He heard a tap at the window. He looked up but no one was there. He kept looking at the window with a curious look. He saw a rock fly at it. The same tap sounded. He walked over to the window. He saw someone in a long coat and a ski mask run away from under the window and down the alley.

Roger opened the window and grabbed one of the rocks. It had a white piece of paper on, tied with a rubber band. Roger pulled the note off. He opened it up. It was a small piece of paper, stained by coffee. He squinted to read the messy, small hand-writing.

**_Lover Boy, you steal my client. You die._**

Roger read the note over a couple times before it clicked in.

"Gordon," he gasped.

He went to grab his coat, but stopped. He couldn't do anything, he shouldn't do anything. Mimi would be furious. Besides, Gordon was capable of a lot of things. He had connections on every corner. Roger could handle Gordon, but not Gordon's hit men or his weapons.

Roger furiously threw the paper on the ground. He walked back over to his guitar, but he didn't play it. He just sat there and stared at the strings.

"This is Maya," Mimi said to her friend Samantha. They were standing inside Mimi's dressing room. "Collins is taking care of her."

"Tom?" Samantha said, "Angel's Tom?"

"Yea," Mimi said. Samantha smiled and held her hand out to Maya.

"Anyway," Samantha said. "You're on in ten for the afternoon show."

Mimi nodded and the door closed behind Samantha.

"You are going to go backstage while I go on stage," Mimi said. "If you get bored you can just come back in here and hang out."

Maya nodded. "I wish this place wasn't closing down. I would love to get a job dancing," Maya said.

Mimi frowned. "I wish it wasn't closing either." Mimi then looked at Maya and smiled. "You are much too young to dance here!"

"When did you start?" Maya asked.

"17," Mimi said. "Times are different now."

"Sure," Maya laughed.

Mimi looked at Maya. She put her hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Maya," she said. "This family has been through so much. We are close and we will always stay that way, no matter what. You need to promise me that you won't turn down the wrong path. Collins cannot take any more pain. Please Maya. Please don't make the wrong choice like I did."

Maya was taken aback at Mimi's little speech. The manager knocked on the door.

"Meems," he said impatiently. "You're on next."

Mimi brushed some tears from her face and walked out. Maya sat there.

_"How dare she tell me that, how can she tell me to not do something she has done. She can't be that much older. Besides, she can't tell me what to do. I hate being told what to do," _Maya said. She walked out of the dressing room. She saw Mimi dancing on the stage.

"Ow!" Mimi screamed. The guys all clapped and whistled.

Maya smiled. She imagined herself up there. She imagined the lights hitting her hair, her body moving to the beat of the music, all eyes on her. She knew it was what she wanted to do.

"What is your favorite kind of food?" Collins asked.

"Chinese," Maya said. She was walking down the street with Collins. They were on their way to dinner.

"Chinese it is," he laughed. "So, how was your day with Mimi?"

"It was fun," Maya said. "I wish the club wasn't closing down. It looked like a fun place to work at."

"Never get too attached to a job. Benny will always close it down, "Collins laughed. "He is like Satan."

Maya laughed. "So, where can I get a job around here? I really want to start working."

"I can look around," Collins said. "But let me warn you it is not the easiest place to find a job."

Maya nodded.

"On another topic," Collins said. "I talked to your father's lawyer. He left everything to you. Which means you will obtain his money when you come of age. Until then, your guardian will hold it. Your father told me he died that his one wish was for you to find a suitable family. We can always bring you back to the adoption agency and you can live with us until you find someone, but….." He trailed off and sat Maya down on a nearby bench. Collins laughed and bent down on one knee. "Maya Isabel Maria Gomez, would you accept my offer to be your adopted father?" Maya looked at him.

"What?" she asked.

"I would like to adopt you," Collins laughed.

Maya stood up and hugged Collins. "Oh Tom," she cried. "That would be amazing." Collins stood up.

Maya was so happy the rest of the night. She loved the fact that she was adopted, especially to someone she got along with so well. She could not believe she was going to be a part of a family. Her old father was nice and she loved him more than anything, but he was always working and they didn't even eat dinner together. She ate every night with his stingy girlfriend, who fled right after his funeral. Allah Cortez was a tall, blonde woman from France. She had an annoying accent and hated kids. Allah knew some Spanish and they usually spoke Spanglish during dinner. Maya turned her attention back to her new family. It wasn't a bonified family, like the ones she read about in books. Half of them had aids and the other half had secrets or dark pasts. Through all the pain though, they seemed to be as happy as they could be. She was looking forward to the future.

"Table for two," Collins said, which interrupted Maya's thoughts. She smiled up at her new father.


	12. The Thought Of A Kid

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been so busy with homework, the musical, horseback riding, softball, and finding time to watch RENT **

**Ha Ha. Anyway.. Review cause I love you!**

**The Thought Of A Kid**

"Roger," Mimi called, "I am home." Mimi came in carrying a handful of cash.

"Where did you get that?" Roger asked.

"Since the club is closing down, there are a lot more customers, which means a lot more cash, which means we can go out tonight!" Mimi cried.

"Where?" Roger asked.

"The Life Café, I guess," she laughed. "I can't afford anything higher than that."

"I am so sick of that place," Roger said. "Can we just get take-out?"

"Where?" Mimi asked.

"I don't know," he said. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Chinese," Mimi said truthfully.

Roger cringed. He hated Chinese, but then he looked at Mimi's hopeful face and laughed.

"Chinese it is," Roger said. Mimi smiled and ran to get Roger's coat. The couple walked down the street. It was cold out, but Mimi didn't notice. She was too busy staring at Roger.

"What?" he asked.

"Wanna race?" she laughed. She began sprinting down the street. Roger laughed. He was used to her little child-ish games. He let her get a head-start and then ran after her. Mimi went to cross the street when suddenly a Range Rover zoomed around the corner. Roger shot his arm out and easily pulled her back to safety.

The car stopped and the window rolled down.

"Need a ride?" asked Benny.

"No," Roger said.

"Not you," Benny laughed. Roger clenched his fists, but Mimi grabbed his hand and kept walking.

Benny drove slowly behind them talking to Mimi, "so how come you didn't call me. I really need to talk to you. Please call me once you get _him_ out of the way."

Roger stepped in front of Mimi.

"Benny," Roger said. "If you want I will kick your ass here if you keep-"

"Not now," Benny said. "I have a meeting with Allison's father. Call me Mimi." With that he sped off. Roger grabbed Mimi's hand and dragged her down the street.

"I cannot believe him," Mimi said.

"Call him" Roger said, "Tonight."

"What?" Mimi asked, staring at him.

"Call him," Roger repeated. "I've known Benny for 7 years. I can tell when something is wrong. I think it is a serious issue. He won't come to me, Collins, or Mark, because he simply thinks we hate him and-"

"You _do_ hate him," Mimi said.

"It's complicated. I hate him for the things he has done, but our friendship will really never die. I know the old Benny is in there somewhere," Roger sighed.

"Since when have you been the king of reasoning," Mimi asked laughing. Then she sadly thought, _"I know the old Roger is in there somewhere too."_

"Since you told me to lighten up," he smiled. They walked down the street hand in hand. Once they got outside the restaurant, Mimi squealed.

"I am so hungry," she said. "I love Chinese. I haven't had it in a long time."

Roger nodded.

"Is that Collins?" Roger asked, pointing through the window.

Sure enough, Collins and Maya were at a table, eating egg rolls and laughing. Mimi smiled at some joke Collins was telling. It was good to see Collins happy.

"Do you want an egg roll," Mimi asked.

"Sure," Roger said. He had never really had Chinese food. He was not sure about anything on the menu.

Mimi recognized the man behind the counter instantly as one of the Puerto Rican men from Life Support.

"Hola Jose," Mimi said.

"Hola Mimi," he said in a strong Spanish accent. "Hola Roger."

"Hi," Roger mumbled.

Jose took out his notepad and picked up his pen. He looked up at Mimi, signaling for her to begin her order.

"Egg rolls por favor," she said.

"Cuantos?" he responded.

"Dos, por favor," Mimi smiled as he went to get their order.

Roger loved it when Mimi spoke calm Spanish, that didn't involve insults and cursing. Mimi reached out her hand and grabbed Roger's. He smiled.

Jose came back with the egg rolls in a bag. Mimi paid and they walked out together.

"Should we say hi to Collins?" Mimi asked.

"Nah," Roger said. "Let him have some alone time with Maya."

Mimi and Roger sat on the fire escape at the apartment and ate the egg rolls when they got back to the loft.

"Roger," Mimi asked. "What is happening to our family?"

"What do you mean?" Roger asked.

"I mean that every other day things change. Plans are re-scheduled, relationships are broken up, and fights occur, make-ups happen. I want to know that the chaos will stop," she said.

"The chaos will never stop. So far, Maureen and Mark are together, Collins has a kid, and I love you," he smiled. "That is all you need to worry about."

Mimi shook her head. She looked so worn out. For once, the little girl who didn't have a care in the world was thinking and worrying about the future.

Roger gave her a hug. She smiled. She saw Collins and Maya in the distance. They were coming towards the loft.

"Look," Mimi said. She seemed to have forgotten her worries for a little. Roger turned and looked at Collins coming down the street. Maya was laughing at something he was saying.

"You have the key?" Collins yelled up to the couple when he was under the fire escape.

"Coming right down," Mimi yelled.

She ran down the stairs and opened the door.

"Collins," Mimi smiled, "Maya. What are you doing here?"

"We have to tell you something," Collins laughed. The three of them went up the stairs. They met Roger at the top. Mimi pulled Roger along behind them. They all barged into the loft.

"What are you doing?" asked Mark. He was sitting on the couch.

"Who is it Pookie?" Maureen yelled from the bedroom. She came out, wrapped in a towel, her hair soaking wet. "Oh my gosh, Collins! Maya!"

She ran out to hug them as she went to hug them her towel began to slip. She let go of her friends and grabbed it, laughing.

"The water is back on?" Mimi asked.

"Yes," she sighed. "It was the coldest shower of my life."

"She usually sings in the shower. Today she screamed," Mark laughed.

"We have something to tell you," said Collins, interrupting Maureen's protest.

Maya smiled. "I am going to adopt Maya Isabel Maria Gomez," Collins spat out.

Maureen jumped up screaming. "Are you serious? I am so excited. This family has a kid. Oh, oh, oh." She hugged Maya. "Welcome to the family!"

"Oh chica!" Mimi said. She ran to hug Maya.

Mark hugged Maya and said, "Be prepared for the most drama of your life." Maureen hit him over the head.

Roger came over and shook her hand. "Welcome," he mumbled. Mimi noticed the coldness he had toward her. She looked at him, but he didn't see her.

Maya smiled at everyone.

"Oh my gosh! Can we have a ceremony? Like, right now. We can….oh I don't know……….you can name her or something and make the whole adoption thing official," Maureen said.

"What are you talking about?" Mark said, rolling his eyes.

"Like an adoption ceremony!" Maureen said. Everyone gave her weird looks. "Fine will you guys at least settle for letting Thomas give her a new middle name?"

"Like," Collins said, "I choose another middle name for her?"

"Yea," Maureen said excitedly. "You can name her, in order to claim her as your daughter. I think you should choose Maureen or Alice. Alice is my middle name. Or Kristie, that is pretty. Maya Isabel Maria Kristie Gomez. Or maybe Elizabeth. No, that is too reformed. How about-"

Collins cut off her rambling and said, "how about Angela. That way, a little bit of Angel can live in her, always."

The Bohemians smiled. Maya forced a smile too. She thought the whole thing was crazy and she didn't understand it, but she thought it was sweet at the same time.

"Is she still going to stay here with us?" Mark asked.

"That leads me to my next piece of news," he said. "Do you know that guy who lived on the first floor, but was never home, because last spring he moved into his girlfriend's apartment on the west side of town? Well, he finally sold."

"You are going to live below us?" Mimi asked.

"Yes," Collins said.

"That is amazing Collins," she laughed.

"I can help with the rent if you take care of Maya during the day," Collins said.

"And you can get us Cap'n Crunch," Mark exclaimed. Through all the laughter, Mimi still stared at Roger, curiously.

o o o o o

"So tell me Roger Davis," Mimi said. She was sitting on the couch in her pajamas. "Why are you not happy for Collins?"

"I am happy," Roger said. He was sitting on the floor in front of her, tuning his guitar.

"No you're not. You gave her the coldest look when you heard the news," Mimi argued.

Roger sighed. "I have nothing against Maya. I am sure she is a nice girl. It is just that I really can't stand kids."

"Since when?" Mimi asked.

"Kids just destroy families. They need a lot of attention and especially teenage girls," Roger said.

"No they don't," Mimi said slowly.

"April. April asked me to start a family with her two weeks before she died. I told her that it wasn't a good idea. I mean with all the drugs she was doing, the kid might be born addicted. I told her we didn't have the money and that we couldn't support a child," Roger said. "She freaked out on me and dug dipper into the world of drugs. All of that happened, because of the stupid thought of a kid. A stupid kid."

"Roger," Mimi said. She got off the couch and sat next to him. She wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's waist. She always was very sympathetic when it came to April, but she still got that jealous twinge when she heard the girl's name. "A kid didn't destroy that family. Drugs destroyed it."

"I just don't want to get this family destroyed, because of some girl who clearly doesn't like me," Roger complained.

"You two need to give each other a chance," Mimi sighed. "You are judging her before you even know her."

Roger nodded. He didn't care what Mimi said. He knew he was right. The idea of a child was the first brick that was taken from their relationship. Once that brick was gone, the masterpiece began to collapse.

Roger stood up and sat on the couch. He sighed as he placed his guitar beside him. Mimi stood up and sat on his knee.

She leaned her head all the way back, pulled her legs under her butt, and began to hum a tune. Roger smiled in spite of how cute she was.

Suddenly, the couch made a loud crack and the legs gave way. The couch went straight down. It sent Roger flat on his back and Mimi on top of him. The remains of the couch lay under them.

"Shit," Mimi cried.

"Damn couch," said Roger groaning as he tried to pull himself up. He sighed and gave up. He was too exhausted.

A knock at the door sounded.

"Come in," Mimi groaned.

Mark walked in. "What just happened?"

"The fucking couch collapsed," Roger said. Mimi stood up and Roger rolled over and hopped onto his feet.

"And what were you doing on the couch?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Sitting on it," Mimi said. "Unlike you and Maureen."

Mark glared at her with a goofy smile. He turned and walked away. The door shut and Mimi started laughing.

The door opened again. Collins was in the doorway, out of breath.

"Is everyone okay?" he said. "I heard a loud bang."

"Our couch is destroyed, but we are good," Mimi said.

"Oh," Collins said, seeing the pile of rubble. "I will take you two to Ikea tomorrow. Maya and I are going to look for furniture for her. They have really cheap prices, so we should be able to find a good couch."

Mimi clapped. "I have always wanted to go there!"

Collins smiled and left.

Mimi turned and jumped on Roger. "We are going shopping, furniture shopping! I have not gone shopping for anything but food in a long time. And we are going together. This is going to be so exciting. We should decide what color we want."

"We _do_ have a budget Mimi," Roger reminded her.

Mimi smiled. "Oh well. We better go to sleep to rest up. I can't wait!"

Roger followed her into the bedroom. _"What is Ikea?" _he thought as he closed his eyes.


	13. Countless Forgiveness

**So here is a longer chapter. Please review and give me your imput. I have most of the story finished, but reviews give me the motivation to post it. Thanks guys. **

**Countless Forgiveness**

"You can sleep here sweetie," Maureen cooed. She tucked Maya onto the couch. "Tomorrow I think you are going to get some furniture."

"I thought you needed the money for rent," Maya pointed out.

"Well, actually this is money from Collins old boyfriend, Angel," she sighed. "She gave half of her money to Collins and the other half is to help us with the rent. It wasn't much, but it should get you a couple pieces of furniture."

Maya smiled. She loved the name Angel. She also loved the fact that everyone referred to Angel as a she, even though Angel was a guy.

_"I guess I have an angel looking out for me," _she thought as she closed her eyes.

o o o o o

Roger, Mimi, Collins, and Maya ran to the station. They were late. Roger jumped over the bar, which led into the station. He pulled Mimi over. Maya ducked under and Collins leaped over it, laughing.

The train in the subway was waiting. The doors were closing slowly. The four of them took off and got in, just before the doors closed. They heard shouts from security behind them, but the train pulled away.

"We made it," Mimi laughed.

Maya felt uncomfortable with all the people staring at the group of them. Half the people looked amused and the other half were giving them dirty looks. She saw a lady in the corner, wearing a fur coat and reading a magazine, her daughter was sitting next to her. There were about 5 shopping bags around them. Maya sighed. She remembered when she had her first adopted parents. She was about 8. They lived in a huge house on the east side of town. Her mother would take her to the stores every day and buy her ice cream. Sadly, her mother divorced her father and went into a state of depression. She was in no condition to take care of Maya, so the orphanage took her back. She stayed there until she was 13 when Dale and Allah took her in. Then she went straight to Tom. She never knew her real parents. Her earlier years were spent with a nun named Sister Mary Fay. Maya zapped out of memories when she saw Mimi looking at her quizzically.

"Have you?" Mimi asked.

"Have I what?" Maya said.

"Decided on colors you want for your furniture," Mimi said matter-of-factly.

"Nope," Maya said. "I guess whatever we can find."

The rest of the ride was mostly quiet. When the subway pulled to a stop, everyone began to get up very quickly and rush out. Maya was pushed along the crowd, up the stairs, and into the bright lights of the city. She was shocked at the size of it.

Collins led the way through some alleys and they eventually were in front of a giant blue building.

Maya smiled and followed her _family_ inside.

"_Family_," she thought. "_That sounds good."_

o o o o o

"Mark," Maureen yelled. Mark was looking through the lens of his camera. He cringed when he saw Maureen, storming toward him, holding her favorite pair of white boots.

"What is this?" she cried.

"Your boots," Mark said trying to sound innocent.

"NO," she screamed. "THIS! WHAT IS THIS, THIS LARGE UGLY BLACK STAIN?"

"A large ugly black stain," Mark laughed nervously. Maureen lowered herself until she was an inch away from Mark's face.

"Do you really want to be laughing right now?" she hissed.

"It kind of looks like grease," Mark said quickly. Maureen backed off and began pacing.

"Now we are getting somewhere," she glared at him. "What kind of grease?"

"It kind of looks like"- Mark gulped.

"YOUR FUCKING CAMERA GREASE LENS THING," she roared. "THE DAMN GREASE YOU ARE ALWAYS USING ON YOUR CAMERA. IT IS ON MY FUCKING BOOTS. MY FAVORITE PAIR OF WHITE BOOTS HAVE GREASE ON THEM. ARE YOU CRAZY? DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THESE ARE? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW ANGRY I GET WHEN MY THINGS BECOME DESTROYED?"

Mark shook his head. He remembered quite well. "Calm down Maur. It is a little grease. I am not sure how it got there-"

"DO NOT CALL ME MAUR! YOU LEFT YOUR DAMN CONTAINER OF GREASE OPEN IN THE CLOSET. IT FELL FROM THE DAMN SHELF THAT YOU KEEP YOUR DAMN EQUIPMENT ON AND-"

Mark got up and kissed her. She pushed him away vigorously.

"Is this really the time?" she cried.

"_Well," _he thought, _"it works when Roger uses that move on Mimi when she is angry."_

Maureen glared at Mark.

"I have tried everything to get them off," she cried. "Nothing is working!"

"Sorry Maureen," he said.

"Nothing is ever going to make up for this. No matter what you do I will never forget this Mark Cohen," she yelled. "Never!"

Maureen was always being dramatic when it came to little things. Mark tried to shrug it off, but he found himself thinking about ways to make it up to her.

"_Snap out of it,"_ he told himself. It was useless. He was under Maureen's spell. Nothing could get him out of it. The more he heard her yelling at him, the more he felt himself wanting her. It was like in elementary school when you made fun of the person you liked. Mark sighed and followed Maureen's sobs into the bedroom. He prepared himself for an hour of him begging Maureen for forgiveness and saying sorry more times than he could count.

o o o o o

"Maya do you like this set?" Collins asked. Maya gasped. It was an adorable little bed with a matching wardrobe set. The wardrobe opened up and inside was a mirror.

The four of them were in the "as is" section. It was the section of reject furniture. This particular set had a large scratch on the side of the bed and the mirror was cracked. One of the drawers was missing too, but Maya loved it. It was a pale purple with a hint of pink around the edges. It was a $100 piece set, but was on sale for $85. Maya smiled when she saw the price. Roger went to get a manager, to help them get the set.

"How are we getting this home?" Mimi asked.

"Damn," said Collins. "I didn't think of that."

"The amazing Collins didn't think?" Mimi gasped. "It's okay. I will call Benny. He will give us a ride."

Collins nodded, but glanced in the direction of Roger. Mimi sighed. Roger was going to have to deal with it.

"Do you guys want to look at couches while we're here?" Collins asked.

"What is the point?" Mimi laughed. "We barely have enough money for food."

Collins laughed. Roger came back.

"Shipping it home will take 10 bucks, but they can only deliver it to the closest business building, because they cannot put their employees "in danger" by sending them to "our side of town," Roger said irritably.

"It's okay," Mimi said slowly. "Benny is going to give us a ride home."

"No he's not," Roger laughed.

"We have to get the set home," she said. "The shipping is expensive. We are going home with Benny. I am going to use a payphone and call him."

"Mimi," said Roger slowly, trying to get her to come over to the corner with him so they could talk about the situation in private.

"My mind is made up Roger," she said, holding her ground.

"We can go home on the subway if it is easier," Collins suggested.

Mimi put her hand up to him, silencing him.

She strutted away, in search for a pay phone.

Roger followed after her, leaving Collins and Maya alone. Collins turned to Maya and smiled. "Are you happy with your furniture?"

"I am so happy," she squealed. "I cannot believe how cheap it is, too!"

Collins laughed. His daughter had so much to learn about himself and his Bohemian life. He gave her a quick hug and went to go pay for the set.

Maya sat down on a nearby couch. She was swinging her legs back and forth. A tall man passed her and signaled her to follow him. She looked around and followed him around the corner.

"You're Maya," he pointed out.

"And you are?" Maya asked slowly.

"Gordon," he said. "Just Gordon. I noticed you looked upset. Is Roger or Mimi ruining the ABC city fun?"

"How do you know Roger and Mimi?" she asked in awe.

"Let's just say we are old friends," he coughed slightly. "Have you ever heard of smack? D? C? X? Horse? Joogie Boogie Boy? Blow?"

"Nope," she said. "Are they drugs?"

"Yes," he laughed. "But they aren't the bad kind. They are the coping kind. Many people took them to cope with the Alphabet city drama and pain. Mimi Marquez was my biggest customer after Roger went into withdrawal."

"Mimi?" Maya gasped.

"Yep," he said. "I just wanted to let you know that I am here to help you if you need anything."

Maya smiled. He seemed so sweet and he definitely came out of his way to see if she needed anything.

"I will let you know if I do," Maya laughed, leaving Gordon.

"I can usually be found in the main alley. If you hop the fence at the end of the alley by your house, and make a left and continue going straight, that is where I am, at the very end of that alley." He waved to her and walked away.

"Maya," Collins voice called out. Maya turned to find Collins, Mimi, and Roger standing around the corner. She went over, scared that they were angry, but they hadn't seen Gordon. Maya wasn't sure if they were friends with him, but the way he stayed secretive, she doubted he wanted to see her Bohemian family.

Her thoughts changed when she saw Collins paying for her furniture. She ran over to gaze at it. She didn't know why, but she thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Anyone else would look at it and think, "What a piece of crap," but Maya was just in awe at its beauty.

Mimi came to stand next to her. She looked like she was trying to decide whether to pout, because Roger disagreed with her or to smile, because she had won the fight. To make things more complicated Benny walked in.

Collins, whom wanted to keep things with Benny calm, gave him a big "hello." Benny returned it and helped him carry the set outside.

Benny's Range Rover was parked in the corner. The three men carried over the furniture. Roger had not said anything to Benny, nor had he even looked at him. They got the set into the car, leaving no room for them to sit.

Mimi ended up sitting on Roger's lap, which she wanted to do, but everyone could tell she thought she had given in and let Roger win. Maya sat squished next to them. Collins got into the passenger seat and they drove off.

"Whose furniture set is that?" Benny asked, pointing to the set in an attempt to start a conversation.

"Mine," Maya said dully.

Benny could tell that no one wanted to be with him. Mimi noticed the uncomfortable air that hung in the car. She started rambling on about how much she liked Ikea, in her attempt to start conversation. She was successful for the most part, as Collins joined her.

Roger just stared forward and watched Benny's every move. He saw the way his old friend would glance in the mirror and stare at Mimi. The more his old roommate gave her looks of admiration, the more he held Mimi closer. He couldn't stand the looks Benny kept giving her. His temper was rising, he could feel it. He-

"Ow," Mimi cried. Roger looked at her. She was staring at him.

"You're squishing me," she said. She had her hands on Roger's, trying to pry them apart. It was no use, because his grip was so tight.

"Sorry," he mumbled, easing the grip on her. Benny pulled down, the run down street that was home to the loft. Benny got out of the car, to help Roger and Collins carry the set up the stoop. Roger grabbed the front half of the wardrobe, while Collins grabbed the bed. Roger felt the other end of the wardrobe lift up. He heard Benny's voice on the other end. He was talking and laughing with Mimi. Roger was trying to look over the furniture to catch a glimpse of what they were doing. He didn't notice how close he was to the stoop. He tripped over the first step, sending him backwards with the wardrobe on top of him.

He heard Mimi scream and everything went black.

**If you want to know what happens you need to...(you guessed it) REVIEW. Ha Ha. I know what is going to happen. If you want to know too, just click on that purple-blue box.**


	14. We've Got AIDS

**Hi everyone. I know it has been a while. I was just in the musical Leader of the Pack and I have been at my school every night till like 10. But now it is over (and it was really good) and I can update some more. **

**On another note, I was kind of upset cause I thought no one was reading my story, but the other day a really cool friend of mine (ILove Amanda) told me about stats and it said I got 1,733 hits. So I was pretty excited. Thanks to all my readers. So please keep reading and reviewing. **

**Oh and also, I will be updating faster, because my best friend Casy is starting to read it and she has been bugging me to update, so the fire is under my butt and I am updating as fast as I can. **

**And one last thing….I am going to be done with the entire story in about a week. I have 124 pages on my Word Document and I have only uploaded around 35. So due to that I am going to make my chapters much longer, so I don't end up with 103 chapters or something. If you guys have any suggestions or comments, though please review. I am felxoible and can change things around to make your reading experience more exciting. So keep reading. I promise you that you won't be disappointed so enjoy!**

**We've Got AIDS**

Maureen sat on the couch, with a wet rag and her boots. Mark was sitting next to her. He sighed and stood up.

"And where are you going Mark Cohen?" Maureen asked.

"To get a little Cap'n Crunch," he said. "We still have some and I am hungry. Do you want any?"

"No," she cried. "I am cleaning my boots and you are going to sit here with me and suffer."

"Maureen," he said. "You can't be serious."

"Sit dow-"

Maureen was cut off by a loud crash outside. The couple ran over to the window. All they could see was Benny's car parked below them, which could only mean trouble. They ran down the stairs.

Collins and Benny were pulling a large purple colored wardrobe off of Roger. He was laying on the stoop, with a puddle of blood by his head.

Mark took a step back. He felt the walls of the hallway closing in around him as he remembered a fateful day in his past.

_Mark sat at the Life Café. He saw the owner walking over towards him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pile of change. He laid it on the table and made a quick escape to the door. The manager made it to the table, to find a pile of change that didn't equal what Mark had eaten. The manager was used to the dorky kid with the camera coming in and not paying. Mark sighed and rode off on his bike._

_Mark had been coming to the Life Café more often, because being home was painful. He was always fighting with his flirty, cheating girlfriend Maureen. His roommate and best friend Roger had been doing drugs with his girlfriend April._

_Mark had nothing against April, he just didn't like her. She was nice and funny, but she was also bad news and a total addict. She had gotten Roger into drugs. She spent most of her time out in the alley, at the bar, or making out with Roger. He had the feeling that April didn't really love his best friend. Mark sighed as he made his way home. He picked up his bike and walked inside. As he made his way up the stairs, he accidentally bumped into a young brown haired, Spanish girl. _

"_Watch it," she cried. _

"_Sorry," Mark said. "Hey you look new here. Did you just move in?"_

"_Listen I am late for work," she said grumpily walking away._

_Mark sighed. No one in the world was happy anymore. He walked up to the loft, to find it empty. He went into his room. He spent the next half hour going through old movie reels. He was bored out of his mind, so he went to look for food. Of course, there was nothing._

_He turned the faucet on the sink, to find that the water was back on._

_He smiled. The water had been off for the last three days. He would be able to take the first shower out of everyone and probably the only decently warm one. He made his way to the bathroom. The door knob was jiggling slightly._

"_Great," he said out loud. "One more thing to fix in this-"_

_He stopped. A skinny blonde haired girl was hanging over the side of the bathtub, covered in blood. _

_Mark turned April onto her back. Her wrists had deep slits in them. He gasped and stepped back. He felt his stomach churn. He felt the room begin to spin. Mark fell backwards onto the ground. He knew what was going on, but he couldn't move. He was breathing deep and his head felt extremely light._

_Maureen suddenly walked in. _

"_Mark?" she cried. "What is wrong?" She saw April on the ground and screamed. She ran to the fire escape and called down the street._

"_Collins! Roger! Benny!" she cried. "Anyone, help!"_

"_Why are you screaming woman?" Collins asked, walking through the door with Benny. They were both shivering._

"_Damn it's cold out there," Benny said breathing heavily. "What are you looking at-" Benny stopped._

_The two men saw Maureen leaning over Mark, sobbing as she stared at April. Everyone just stood there for a moment staring at her lifeless body. Collins bent down and picked up Mark and moved him onto the couch. Maureen reached out to April._

"_Don't touch her," Collins warned. Maureen began to sob. She went over and sat next to Mark, who was still in a dizzy state of shock._

_The door opened and Roger walked in, singing some rock song under his breath. _

"_Have you seen……………." Roger stopped when he saw his girlfriend on the ground. "April," he gasped. He bent down; he delicately reached out and held her cold, limp hand. A single tear fell from his eye. That was the only tear he shed for any girl he had ever loved. Reality hit him. The one girl who he loved more than life was dead. _

_He felt a piece of paper in her hand. He pulled it out and un-crumpled it. It was covered in blood, but he could still make out April's slanted writing._

_We've Got AIDS was all it said._

_Roger shoved it in his pocket and made a run for it. He ran and ran. He ran down the alley, down the street, to the bar where he first met April. Once he arrived, he managed to pick up a bottle of beer and throw it against the wall. His good friend Greg, whom was the bartender, took him to the back._

"_What are you doing?" Greg yelled._

_Roger didn't answer he just ran and ran. He ran away from his fear and his pain._

_Maureen sat with Mark's head in her lap. The bathroom door was closed. The morgue was coming once Roger got back, so in the meantime April's body just lay on the other side of the door._

_Eventually Roger came back. Collins stopped him at the door._

"_What are you going to do?" Collins asked._

_Roger went to shove past him, but Collins grabbed him and pinned him back against the wall. _

"_Roger," he said fiercely. "Wake up. This is serious. You have AIDS. Get it through your head. You need to figure out what you are doing with life."_

_Roger hung his head and collapsed on the ground._

"_Tom," Maureen said calmly. "I think he has had enough for one day."_

_Roger took that as his cue to get up. He went into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the toilet. Not once did he look at April. He just kept saying, "You're so stupid April. So fucking stupid. Why would you leave me like this? Why?"_

"Don't touch him Mark," Collins roared. Mark snapped out of his memories. He had advanced forward, in an attempt to lift Roger's head up.

"Do not get any blood on you," Collins said, looking from Maureen to Mark to Benny to Maya. "Go get towels and lay them on the ground upstairs in Mimi's apartment."

Mimi was still sobbing and looking in horror at Roger.

"Mimi," Collins said. "You need to be strong and help me get him up the stairs. No one else can touch him, but us."

Mimi nodded. Collins held most of his weight, while Mimi supported his head.

They laid him down on the bed, with towels all around him. Benny ran to get some bandages from the corner drug store. He came back, in record time with gauze, medical tape and bandages. Collins wrapped his head.

"Is he going to be alright?" Mimi sobbed into Collins shoulder.

**While posting this story, my friend Casy has been yelling at me to post it. What a fag! Anyway, at least I have one fan. If you want to join the club, leave a comment.**

**CommentsLove**


	15. Never Changed

**Hey. I am not sure who I am dedicating this story to, but I know one of the people I am going to dedicate it to is...**

**CASY! My like best friend ever! She is so supportive and loves all my stories. So yea. Congrats Casy this story is partially dedicated to you. **

**Read & Review!**

**Never Changed**

****

Mimi crawled into bed with Roger. She reached down and checked his heart. It was still beating.

Roger had been knocked out for the past five days. Every day Mimi would sit next to him, just waiting for him to wake up. She checked his heart constantly. She hadn't eaten since Roger fell, nor had she gone to work. Her constant pleas of getting a doctor for him had gone unanswered. It was too expensive and no doctor would come to Bohemia for an x-druggie. Mimi sighed and fell asleep.

"Mimi," said a soft voice.

"Once more minute," she moaned. She curled up deeper in the covers. She felt Roger's arm around her waist.

"Roger," she whispered, smiling. Her eyes suddenly popped open.

"ROGER!" she yelled. She turned and saw him, laying down and weakly grinning at her.

She dove on him and showered him with kisses. She sat back.

"Baby," she cried. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he asked. "Why?"

"Do you even remember falling?" she asked.

"I remember carrying in the wardrobe," he said slowly.

"Then you fell and hit your head," she said. "You have been out for the last five days."

"That's right!" he gasped. "Benny pushed the furniture over on me!"

"What?" Mimi asked, shocked.

"I know it! It's true," he said, sitting up.

Mimi saw blood on the pillow.

"Roger," she gasped. "Lay down. Your bandage is leaking. I will go get Collins."

Mimi rushed out of the room and ran downstairs. She knocked on the door and almost instantly it was opened.

"Mimi," Collins gasped. "I haven't seen you in five days. How is Roger? Every time I knock on the door, no one answers. Is he still unconscious?"

Mimi smiled. "He just woke up, but that isn't why I am here. Can you re-wrap his bandage?"

Collins nodded and they headed upstairs. Roger was resistant at first. He hated getting help, but then he saw the look of concern on Mimi's face and he agreed to Collins helping him.

After Collins left for work, Roger sighed.

Mimi just sat there and smiled at Roger.

"What?" he asked.

"I am just so happy you are awake," she said. "I really thought you weren't going to make it in the beginning. There was so much blood on the porch. It happened so quickly and-"

"Have you been eating?" Roger asked suddenly.

"Sort of," she said. "I was just so stressed that you were unconscious and-"

"Mimi Marquez," he sighed. "You need to eat."

"Okay father," she laughed. Roger gave her a look that meant business

There was a knock on the door and before anyone could answer, Maureen and Mark burst in.

"ROGER," Maureen cried. "HOW ARE YOU?"

"Roger Davis," said Mark, holding his camera. "He's back from the near-death disaster that caused a Miss Mimi Marquez to stop eating food for the last five days."

Mark, for once put down the camera and went to hug his best friend.

"Hi guys," Roger laughed.

"I wouldn't be talking much," she cried. "You haven't eaten much either!" She poked his stomach and laughed.

Mark blushed. "I am on my way to film a day in the life of Maureen," he rolled his eyes, but Maureen didn't notice, because she was too busy making her way to the door.

"She actually thinks Buzzline will buy this footage," he laughed. The couple made their way outside.

Mimi turned and gave Roger a big kiss.

He smiled. "Maybe I should fall on my head more often."

"If you ever do that again," she said. "I will kick your ass. Besides that was just a New Year's Eve kiss."

"What is today's date?" he asked.

"January 2," she laughed. Roger's face dropped. "Yea, I know, you missed New Year's."

"What did you guys do for the New Year?" Roger asked, feeling guilty he missed what might be Mimi's last New Year.

"Nothing much," she said. "For the countdown, I went up and hung out with Maureen, Mark, Collins, and Maya. Most of the night I was in here, talking to you."

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I was talking to _you_," she laughed mysteriously. "_You_ should know."

"That isn't fair," he sighed. "I wasn't conscious."

Mimi laughed.

"Where is Maya?" he asked. "I haven't seen her yet."

"I actually have not seen her in a while. She has been out a lot lately."

Roger nodded.

"I have to go to work babe," Mimi said, looking at the clock. "It is my last week."

"Have fun," he sighed. "I will be here."

"Don't move," she added, kissing him on the forehead. She slowly closed the door and started walking. The halls were dark and the cold air hit her face as she made her way outside. She pulled her coat closer around her.

"Mimi," called a familiar voice.

Mimi turned down the alley, to find Gordon pulling her by the hand, farther down to an unknown area.

"Where are we going," she said. She pulled back on his lose grip, but the moment she did, he tightened his hand around her small one.

"Your boyfriend never went through with my letter," he said.

"Your letter? What letter?" Mimi asked, pulling back away from him.

"Don't make this difficult Mimi," he yanked on her arm, sending her to the ground. "Now listen. Roger is the reason you are off drugs. Mimi, you were my best customer and a long time ago I warned Roger Davis that if he stole you then I would kill him. I follow through with promises. Now I am going to give you all another week, because I know how he fell, but after that, I better have a client or else he is done."

"Gordon," Mimi said. "No."

Gordon walked away and left Mimi, who just kept saying, "no."

o o o o o

Roger was lying in bed. He began to get bored, so he got up and went to find his guitar. He reached inside of it and pulled out a blood covered note.

"April," he whispered. "Why did you mess up my life the way you did." He put the note back and then pulled out a picture of Mimi. She was smiling and so full of life. She was leaning against the wall outside her studio. Her hair was covered in snow and she looked so elegant.

Mimi burst through the door suddenly. Roger shoved the picture into the hollow part in his guitar and turned around.

"Where is it?" Mimi asked.

"What?" he asked.

"The note from Gordon! Where is it?" she cried. Before Roger could answer, she collapsed on the ground. "I saw him in the alley. He basically said that if he doesn't get a new drug client, then he will kill you."

Roger blinked. "Mimi, don't do drugs again. I would rather die."

"Don't say that," she said. She hugged Roger. "What are we going to do?"

"Avoid him," Roger said. "Avoid him under all costs. He can't do anything here, we out-number him. He is only strong in his alley."

Mimi nodded and put her hand on his head. She felt sticky, warm blood in between her fingers.

"Oh my god, Roger," she cried. "We need to get you stitches." Mimi grabbed her coat and went to get Collins. Roger just sat there.

"Never a dull moment," he sighed.

o o o o o

"Maya Isabel Maria Angela Gomez de Collins?" asked the dance instructor.

"Here," Maya said. The other girls in the class stared at her.

"What should I call you?" the instructor asked irritably.

"Maya," Maya whispered embarrassed at how long her name was. She wished she hadn't written her whole name down on the paper.

Maya stood in a line on the stage. She was about to try out for a dancing job. The other girls around her were much older, but she felt very confident.

"Nikole Gerhard," the director said. A blonde haired, skinny girl raised her hand.

"_Where have I heard that name before?" _Maya thought. Then it hit her.

"April," she said out loud.

The other girls turned to look at her.

"Is my favorite month," Maya added quickly, blushing.

April's last name was Gerhard. After attendance, the instructor's cell phone rang and he had to leave the room. Some of the girl's began to wander around.

"Hi," Maya said, walking up to Nikole. "You probably don't know me, but-"

"You're Maya," she said. "I take classes with your dad, Tom Collins. He tutors me. I've heard of you. I go to NYU Prep"

"Oh," she said. "Well, I couldn't' help notice that you had the same last name as a friend of mine's old girlfriend. Are you related to April?"

"I had a cousin named April," she said slowly. "But she committed suicide about 4 years ago. Did you know her?"

"Not personally," she said. "So you know my dad?"

"Yea," Nikole turned and looked at her. "Are you a dancer?"

"Hopefully," she said. "I haven't really danced before. How old are you?"

"15," she said. "You?"

"14," Maya said.

"Well me and a few friends are going to have a hit after this if you want to come," she said. Maya gave her a look. "If you don't have enough money, I will pay for yours. I am sure you can pay me back another time."

"A hit?" Maya asked.

"Smack," Nikole said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Maya said. "I have to be home, but-"

She stopped. Nikole seemed so nice and if she wanted to be accepted in the dance group, she should make alliances.

"Sure," Maya laughed. "I can be home a little late."

"Excellent," Nikole smiled.

o o o o o

Roger ended up getting 21 stitches. The rest of the day, he spent lying down on the bed. Mimi went back and forth from the loft and her room. Roger noticed how nervous she was acting and he couldn't understand it.

"Maybe it is about the whole Gordon thing," he said out loud, before closing his eyes.

Mimi walked in a few minutes later, to find Roger asleep. She smiled at him and went to sit on the window. Suddenly, she remembered walking down the street with Roger, when they saw Benny. She remembered Benny saying "call me Mimi," before he drove away.

"Call him" Roger had said, "Tonight." Mimi never had called him. She had seen him a few times since then, but she never asked him what it was he wanted to talk about. She figured it would be easier to call him when Roger was asleep, so she quietly made her way up to the loft to call Benjamin Coffin III.

"Hello," said a woman's voice on the other end.

Out of pure shock, Mimi blurted out, "Muffy?"

"Who?" the lady asked angrily.

"Is Benny there?" she finally asked.

"Hello?" said Benny's voice.

"Benny," Mimi whispered. "A while ago I saw you and you told me to call you."

"Oh yeah," Benny sighed. After a long pause he said, "Do you know 'The Man'?"

"Yes," Mimi said furiously.

"Allison's father knows him very well. He was talking to Allison's father last week and said business was rough. Allison's father gets 10 of his income, because back a few years ago, Gordon helped the Gray family, because they are related. And it's a long story, but yeah…. Gordon is 'The Man's' name."

"I know Benny, what is your point?" Mimi asked angrily.

"Allison's father, Dale, told Gordon to do whatever it takes to get clients back. Gordon said that there was this one guy who took away his best client. He said he lost interest and liking for this fellow and wanted to 'eliminate' him. Dale told him to do whatever it takes."

"Who is this guy?" Mimi asked.

"Gordon doesn't want to kill him right away. He wants to give him a warning shot, but time is running out and he is growing impatient. He has his men keeping an eye on this guy."

"Who is the guy?" Mimi yelled.

Benny began to ramble on. "I normally wouldn't tell you this whole situation, but I feel you should know. I mean I am not the fondest of him, but I do care. I will always care. They think I have changed. They all think I have changed. I haven't changed. I never changed. I just grew up and left that old bohemian life. I-"

Mimi began to sob. "BENNY WHO IS THE GUY?"


	16. Like A Child

**Hi everyone! I really hope you are enjoying this fic. I am having fun writing it. Please read and review. Mimi and Roger have a weird mental breakdown in this chapter. It was kind of weird to write and I just felt like telling you about it before you read it.**

**On another note, Fan Fiction is messing up my spelling and stuff. I have like O.C.D. about making the spelling and format perfect, but the website is screwing it up. If you find any spelling errors or stuff, please tell me because I am going crazy editing these chapters.**

**Thanks! **

**Like A Child**

Roger woke up and saw Mimi sitting right next to him.

"Hi," he said, yawning.

"He is going to kill you," Mimi said, looking down.

"Who?" Roger asked, sitting up.

"I need to go back to drugs or else he is going to kill you," Mimi sobbed.

"Who?" Roger said. He grabbed Mimi's arms and stared at her.

"Gordon," Mimi said. She suddenly gasped, not sure what to do. "I need to go! I need to find him. I need to buy some. I can't have him do this. Where is the note?"

"What note?" he asked.

"You know what fucking note! You are such a fucking idiot. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Mimi jumped off the bed and made her way to the door. She tripped on the way. She just lay on the ground, crying and shaking.

Roger moved over to her. He picked her up and she weakly began punching his chest. She lost all energy and gave up.

Roger cradled her in his arms.

"Meems," he said, "you already told me he wanted to kill me."

"Yea," she sobbed, "but this time I actually believe it. Allison's father told him to do whatever it takes to get a new client. Benny called and warned me."

"Benny is in on this?" Roger yelled.

"Shut up," she cried. "Shut up! Get over it. He cares about you and wanted to warn you."

"Mimi," he said. "Gordon is always threatening someone. Besides, he got caught today and was sent to jail."

"Seriously?" Mimi asked. Her face turned red slightly. She felt bad that she had just had a dramatic melt down in front of him. She felt like such a child. She sat up straighter trying to look more mature.

"Yes," he said into her hair. "It was a story on Buzzline. Mark told me about it. It is going to be alright. He isn't going to be bothering us for a long time."

o o o o o

The next couple of days, Roger was forced to stay in bed. Mark and Maureen came down everyday to visit him. They would all hang out in Mimi's apartment. Roger was very grumpy during that time, because he wasn't allowed to get out of bed. Half the time he slept, so he wouldn't have to be bored.

"Wake up," whispered Mark. Maureen sat at the end of the bed. Mimi watched Mark's hopeless attempts to wake Roger up.

"Scream it," she said.

"No way," Mark laughed. "He needs to be woken up a certain way or else he will be angry."

Mimi rolled her eyes and pushed Mark on top of Roger. Mark was just about to stand up and yell at Mimi, when Roger put his arm around Mark, pulling him back down.

"Mimi," he whispered.

Maureen and Mimi burst into fits of laughter. Roger opened one eye and saw Mark staring at him with a look that said, _"This isn't what it looks like."_

Roger pushed Mark off of him with all his might. It sent Mark flying into Mimi who fell on her back.

"Fuck Mark," Roger yelled. "What are you fucking doing?"

"It was Mimi," Mark whined.

"No," Maureen laughed. "Roger _thought_ it was Mimi."

"Fuck off Maureen," Roger yelled. He lay back down, pulling the covers over his head. "Mark," he said from under the blanket. "If you come near me I will punch your fucking face in!"

Mark swallowed and stood up and got off of Mimi. Maureen followed, laughing her head off.

"I will see you guys later," Roger heard Mimi say. She came into the bedroom. For a second, it seemed as if time had frozen. Mimi was looking at him through the bead hangings around the bed. She had color back in her face. Her mouth was set in a half smiled. Her eyebrows were raised. She seemed to be glowing despite everything that was happening.

"What?" Mimi asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Just thinking."

"Bout what?" Mimi laughed sitting down.

"I was thinking about how everything at this exact moment is perfect," he said.

"Besides the fact that you have a drug seller after you, we have no heat or water, and that your head has 21 stitches in it," she laughed. She lay down on her back and stared at the ceiling.

Roger frowned at her. She looked at him. "I am just kidding. Everything is perfect!" She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

Roger smiled. "I love you Mimi."

"I love you too," she said looking at him weird.

"Will you love me forever?" he asked suddenly. Mimi was so shocked. Roger had never opened up with his feelings like this before. Mimi looked at him.

"What's wrong babe?" she asked. She pushed his hair away from his forehead.

"Just answer the question Meems," he said seriously.

"Of course, I will always love you, till death do we part," she said. The reaction Mimi got from Roger shocked her. The color from his face drained and he stared into space.

"I _hate _that word," Roger whispered. Mimi came behind him and wrapped her arms around him. Roger would usually have never let Mimi hold him. He would usually pull away and walk away. He hated feeling weak or vulnerable, especially around girls. Today was a different story. He felt like a little kid, being held by his mother. He began to sob silently and leaned into Mimi's small frame.

"Rog," she whispered. "It's okay. It's okay baby. Calm down."

Mimi began to rock Roger back and forth, when Mark silently walked into the room, unheard. He came around the corner and saw Mimi holding Roger, who was crying without letting a single tear fall.

Mark stood there, shocked. He never saw his best friend act this way at all. He just stood there and watched as Roger fell asleep. Mimi laid him down and stood up. She jumped at the sight of Mark.

"Mark," she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I never saw him act that way," he said. "I have known him for over 6 years and never has he opened up like that."

Mimi smiled. She felt good that Roger felt comfortable to open up with her. Mark then looked serious, "Maya hasn't come home at all today. She went to some audition and never came back."

"I will go look for her," she said, grabbing her coat. "Just promise me that you will check in on Roger every couple of minutes."

Mark rolled his eyes and put the camera to his eye.

"Close on Mimi, she is out on an expedition to find a whore in the making," Mark laughed.

"Fuck off," Mimi laughed.

"That is Roger's line," Mark said, following her out of the room.

o o o o o

Mimi had not been to her dance studio all week. She missed it, but she couldn't be distracted by the flashy lights, not now. She began asking any instructor she saw if they had seen Maya. After what seemed like forever, she met a man named Francisco Raulez.

"Have you seen a young girl with big brown eyes and brown curly hair? She has really light skin and a beauty mark on the corner of her lip."

"Maya Collins?" he asked.

"Yes," she gasped.

"She went home with Nikole Gerhard," he said. "Do you know her?"

"I know Maya, but not Nikole," Mimi said. "Where did they go?"

"I think to Nikole's place. She lives in the apartment building around the corner of The Life."

Mimi nodded and walked away, but the guy called after her. "You work at the CatScratch club, right?"

"Yes," Mimi said.

"Would you consider auditioning for an off-Broadway job?" he asked. "Call me." He handed her a card and walked away. She shoved it in her pocket and left.

Mimi ran five blocks, until she got to the apartment building. She pushed the intercom to talk.

"May I help you?" said a bored voice through the machine.

"Nikole Gerhard," Mimi said.

"Room 17," the lady said.

The run down building looked uninviting, but Mimi had been in worse situations, so she made her way up the stairs.

She knocked on door Room 17. A young red-haired girl opened the door.

"Can I help you?" she said.

"Are you Nikole?" Mimi asked.

"Lillian," the girl said. "Who are you?"

"Mimi Marquez, I am here to see Maya Gomez de Collins."

"That is a gay last name," the girl laughed.

"It is her birth parents last name and her adopted father's last name," Mimi found herself explaining. She then realized that she didn't have to explain that to a young girl. "Where is Nikole?"

"Probably the alley next to the old Cyber Arts Studio. You go down main street, then make a-"

"Thanks," Mimi said. She rushed out of the building as fast as she could.


	17. Without Warning

**I have spent the last two periods editing and proofreading the chapters so it better be all good. Okay. Read & Review.**

**Without Warning**

Roger woke up to the sound of loud laughter in the alley next to the window. Roger slowly stood up. The floorboard creaked under his weight. He peeked out the window and saw a couple of young girls.

One of the girls with blonde hair threw her head back and laughed. For a second, Roger swore that it was a young version of April.

"_Davis," yelled Roger's drummer Chris Machey. "We're on stage in two minutes get ready. _

_Roger stood in the bathroom, staring at his reflection. His short blonde hair was spiked up. His black t-shirt was ripped. His jeans had many bleach stains on them. He stared down at his dusty, dirty boots. This was the way he dealt with nerves, he inspected himself. He began playing with his hair. When he was done, he turned around. On the wall was a poster that sponsored his band. He was standing in the center, holding his beloved guitar. His friend stood next to him, holding drumsticks, and his other friend Jack Mortel stood in the background, with a guitar. The three men were friends from High School and decided to put a band together. They only got as far as small bar gigs, but Roger was still having fun. He loved the thrill of being onstage and singing his feelings. Tonight they were going to try out a new song called, "This Girl." It was about this girl that was driving this guy crazy. All that the guy in the song could do was, think about her. Roger never had that feeling, but he knew one day he would. He would always tell himself it wasn't the right time for a girlfriend, not when his career was just about to blossom. Suddenly, he heard the crowd roar and they began chanting his name. He turned on his heel and left the bathroom._

_He got onto the stage. The bright lights hit his face, but he loved the warmth of being noticed. The music kicked up and the drums started banging. Roger started playing his guitar in unison with Jack. He was suddenly lost in the music. He would flash the audience a flashy smile every once in a while, but he never really paid attention to the audience. During his solo on the guitar, he looked out at the audience and saw a blonde haired, skinny girl, smiling and staring at him. She was holding a cigarette between her fingers and tapping her foot to the beat of the music._

_The song ended as Roger sang out, "I'm talking about this girl……." Roger, Chris, and Jack began to pack up their equipment as half the people made their way to the bar and the other half left. A large group of girls hung around by the stage, offering to buy the band drinks. Roger smiled at them, but made his way to the back of the bar, in search of that girl he saw. _

_After a good 10 minutes of looking, he sat down in a huff at the bar._

"_Exhausted?" said a voice from behind him._

_He turned around and saw the girl whom he was looking for._

"_Hey," he said._

"_April," she said, sticking out her hand, "April Gerhard."_

"_Roger," said Roger, shaking her hand, "Roger Davis."_

"_I know," she laughed. "I just went to your show."_

"_Oh yeah," he laughed._

"_Can I buy you a drink?" she asked._

"_Sure," he said. _

_The rest of the night, the spent talking and laughing. There was no way to describe this girl in Roger's mind. He wanted to call her cute, but she had a ghostly look to her. An experienced look and it kind of scared Roger, but at the same time he wanted to know everything there was to know about April. Towards 2 in the morning, the bar began to close. April and him walked out the back door, into the alley. _

"_Ever done smack?" she asked._

"_Nope," he responded. She pulled a needle out of her purse and began to hit her arm with her boney white hand. A purple vein popped up under her pale skin. Roger squinted and saw white powder in the syringe. He wanted to turn away as she injected the needle into her body, but he was so fascinated. She made a loud gasp and began to violently shake. Roger stood up, but she reached out a hand and pulled him down, forcing herself to smile. _

"_Are you okay," he asked._

"_The rush is great," she smiled, sitting down on the stoop. Roger kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hand. April suddenly bent down and kissed Roger passionately. Then she hung her head and rested it on his shoulder._

"April," he whispered. He looked out the window again and recognized the brown haired girl. He walked briskly to the door and pulled on his boots.

He opened the door and stepped onto the stoop. He looked down and saw that the bottom step was blood-stained. He shuddered slightly before creeping around the side of the alley. The sun hurt his eyes, which had been locked in the house for the past week.

"You will learn to like Gordon's replacement," said the blonde-haired one. "He has a really good supply of smack. Gordon will be out soon, this isn't his first arrest. But until then you will learn to like this new guy."

"No she won't," said Roger stepping out from behind the wall. "Maya get inside." Maya just stared at him. "NOW!"

Mimi came running up behind Roger. "Roger, I couldn't find-" she stopped when she saw Maya standing there.

"Maya!" Mimi began talking very quickly in Spanish. She reached forward and grabbed Maya's arm and dragged her into the house.

Roger was left, standing in front of the blonde girl.

"Er…..what…..are…….you……….I mean," Roger gulped. "Were you related to April Gerhard?"

"Yes," Nikole said. "She was my cousin." The blonde girl stocked off. Roger stood there in the alley until dark. He just stared at the footprint's Nikole left in the snow. Nikole was like a ghost to him, a living memory of April. The one thing he was trying to avoid. Now it was someone who lived near him and he wasn't sure if he could stand it.

o o o o o

Mimi came up behind him. She called his name, but he didn't answer. She grabbed his arm and led him inside. The minute they got inside, he went straight to the bedroom. He crawled into bed, to sleep away his pains, despite Mimi's constant pleas for him to eat.

Mimi walked upstairs to the loft. She started banging on the door and screaming Mark's name.

Mark slid the door opened and gave her a weird look.

"What?" he asked sleepily.

"Roger isn't doing well," she said. "All he does is sleep and he hasn't eaten since he fell. I found him standing in the alley, just standing. I really think he needs to get out and do something."

"We should go to the Life tomorrow," Mark suggested.

"You need to help me convince him to get out of bed," Mimi sighed.

"So," Mark said, letting Mimi come in. Mimi sat on the couch as Mark yawned and went to heat up the coffee.

"What time is it?" Maureen asked, emerging from the bedroom.

"11," Mimi said.

Mark picked up his camera. "Typical Mimi," he said zooming in on her. "It is close to midnight and she is wide awake."

Mimi shoved the camera out of her face.

"So," Maureen said. "How is Maya?"

"Well," Mimi said. "I dragged her out of the alley and I was yelling at the chica in Spanish, but the whole time she didn't say one word. I told Tom what happened, but of course, he didn't yell or anything. He just looked at her disappointedly. She then went to her room. That was the end of that."

"Wow," Maureen said. "Did she have any stuff with her?"

"She didn't have a purse and she was wearing dance pants, which don't have pockets. I am guessing that she hadn't bought anything. Anyway, Gordon's replacement isn't that good. He only has second hand, cheap stuff."

Mark stared at Mimi. How did she know so much about drugs? It scared him to think how experienced she was.

"It must be hard for Maya," said Maureen.

"Maya is just trying to be exactly what Mimi is," Mark said.

Mimi looked at him with a shocked expression.

"It's true," he said. "You were the first person that actually talked to her out of all of us. She looked for a dance job, got interested in drugs, she also doesn't like Roger."

"That doesn't make sense," Mimi laughed, "I like Roger!"

"Yes," he said. "But you have been fighting so much and she must be angry at him for fighting with you. She has so much admiration for you. You are her role model. The perfect person in her eyes!" Mark lowered his voice and smiled, "You are actually the role model from hell!"

Mimi swung her arm out at him and laughed.

Maureen began to get restless, because the attention wasn't on her. She got up and walked to her room.

"I should get going," she said. "I don't want Roger to wake up alone." She stood up and put her hand on the door.

"Now you sound like him," Mark laughed. "I know you two love each other and everything, but you have to stop being so caring and over-protective of each other."

Mimi turned and smiled sadly at him. "I think you would act the same way if at any moment one of us could be dead without warning."

With that she turned and left the room.


	18. Miso Soup

**Miso Soup**

Maya sat in her room, staring at the needle. She stood up, disgusted with herself. She couldn't understand why she was so scared to take a hit.

She made her way to her wardrobe and pulled open the doors. The cracked mirror gave her a distorted look, but she liked it. She liked it, because she didn't want to deal with looking at the real her. Suddenly there was a knock on the wall outside her bedroom. She didn't have a door, so they substituted one, using a white shower curtain that hung in the doorway.

"One minute," she said. She quickly grabbed the syringe and shoved it into the cardboard box that served as a drawer in the bottom of the wardrobe.

"Come in," she said. She grabbed a book and threw herself on the bed, looking preoccupied.

"Hi," Collins said slowly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said.

"I was thinking that you should be enrolled in a school soon," he said, cutting to the chase. "NYU offers a great College prep school for a cheap price. It is a few blocks away from my work. It is a well known school and a lot of kids from this area go there. I know a bunch of girls your age that go there. Most of the kids have parents that work with me. I signed you up. You are going to start on Monday." He laid a uniform on the bed and left the room. Tom had not treated Maya with any emotion since Mimi brought her in from the alley.

Maya sincerely felt bad for hurting Tom, but she couldn't help it. She looked in her mirror again.

"I can't change who I am," she said sounding unconvincing. "Right?"

"_What if who you think you are is not really you,"_ said a small voice in her head.

She slammed her wardrobe closed and went to look at her uniform. It was a plain white collared shirt, with maroon letters that spelt out NYU Prep. The skirt was gray with pleats.

She sighed, "Ew."

o o o o o

"Wake up babe," Mimi said. "We're going to The Life."

"What time is it?" Roger mumbled.

"Afternoon," Mimi said, pulling her boyfriend out of bed. He stood up and stumbled forward.

"Get dressed," she said, throwing his leather coat at him. He caught it and glared at Mimi. She smiled and walked away.

Mark and Maureen walked through the door.

"Who is ready to go eat?" Maureen yelled.

"Is Collins coming?" Mimi asked.

"He is at work and Maya is at school," Mark laughed.

"I'm impressed," Mimi laughed. "Roger, get the fuck in here!"

Roger came in, looking sulky.

"Still haven't left the house?" Mark laughed.

"I was waiting for you, don't you know," Roger said in a fake happy voice.

"Well today's the day, come to the Life Café," Mark said.

"No flow," Roger reminded everyone.

"I am the benefactor for lunch," Mimi laughed, pulling a wad of bills out of her bra.

Mimi grabbed Roger's hand and pulled him out of the apartment. Maureen mimicked Mimi and pulled Mark behind her. The four of them walked down the street.

"I want a grilled cheese," Mimi laughed. Roger smiled at her. She began skipping and singing some unknown song.

Mark squinted up at the sun. The sun made a bright glare through his glasses, which burned his eyes. He let go of Maureen's hand and rubbed his eyes.

Maureen gave him a concerned look. "You okay Pookie?" she asked.

"Yea," Mark mumbled.

He really wasn't okay, though. He had gotten a call from the hospital that prescribed Roger's AZT. They informed him, that Roger wasn't responding well to the medicine, so they wanted to move him to a "new" plan. "New," meaning more expensive. Mark, who always jumped to conclusions or made fast decisions in a time of crisis, called Alexi Darling. Her high pitched voice rang through his head the rest of the walk to the Café.

"_Alexi Darling," said an annoying voice. "Buzzline."_

"_Hi Alexi," Mark gulped. "It's Mark."_

"_Marky," she sang. "How are you? We have been waiting for your call. Ratings are in and riots are hot."_

"_Um, yea," Mark coughed._

"_Ratings are also asking for human interest stories," she cried._

"_This show is so sleazy," Mark thought._

"_So whatta say Mark?" she asked._

"_Huh?" Mark asked._

"_Do you want to join the Buzzline team?" The hopefulness in her voice made Mark chuckle. No one had really ever begged him to do anything. He was usually the one on his knees. _

"_That is actually why I am calling," he said. "I know that in the past I have rejected your offers, but something came up. What are your available hours?"_

o o o o o

"Roger," Mimi whined. "You need to eat." Roger was staring down at his miso soup. He hated it, but he wasn't in the mood for anything else.

"I am not hungry," Roger sighed. Mark had gulfed down his tofu dog the minute it came. Maureen had half of her soy burger still steaming on the plate. No matter what food Maureen ordered, it always managed to stay hot until she was done eating. It was one of the mysteries of life. Maureen always claimed it was because she was "so damn sexy."

"Roger, please eat," Mimi picked up the spoon and put it towards his mouth. Roger knocked the spoon away, sending it flying across the table.

"Mimi, please stop," Roger got up and walked away. Mimi stood up to follow him, when Maureen reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Give him some time."

Roger was standing in the bathroom. He rolled up his sleeves and splashed his face with some cold water.

"What is happening to me?" he asked out loud.

"Roger Davis," said a tall man, emerging from the stall.

"Yes?" Roger asked. He saw the black handle of a blade, sticking out of his pocket.

"The Man sent me to talk to you. I'm Bert." Surprisingly, the guy stuck out his hand. Roger, not thinking, took his hand.

The next part happened so fast, that Roger didn't even have time to think. Bert grabbed his hand and flicked the blade open, like a pro. He shoved Roger up against the wall and stabbed his arm. He let go of the musician and Roger slid to the floor.

Bert twirled the knife round and round. Roger's disease filled blood glistened on the sharp blade. "Now you do what he said," Bert laughed, "Or your little camera friend will be positive, if you know what I mean."

"What does he exactly want?" Roger coughed, clutching his arm.

"He wants his main client back," Bert said. "Mainly, he wants to mess with your head and destroy your happy bohemian life." Bert laughed maliciously.

"Why would he do that?" Roger asked.

Bert simply walked away. Roger tried to pull himself up, but couldn't find the strength. After 10 minutes he sat up, he took a towel and wrapped it around his arm. He pulled his sleeve over it and walked outside.

Mimi put her hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Sorry."

He winced at her touch, but managed a smile. To make her happy, he took a bite of the poorly made soup.


	19. Instead Of My Old Shit

**Really long chapter, because I probably won't be posting tomorrow or over the weekend. So enjoy. ****Also, the bus scene is the story of my life, because I usually get more sleep on the bus than at home. HaHa.****Catholic school: leave your life at the front door.**

**Instead Of My Old Shit**

The sun outside the university was bright. It burned Maya's eyes. She made her way across the parking lot, weighed down with books. She searched for the bus she was supposed to take home.

"Number 19," she mumbled. "Where is it?"

"Maya," called out a familiar voice.

"Nikole?" Maya laughed turning around. Nikole was wearing a matching uniform, only hers had a much shorter skirt.

"I didn't know you went here," she laughed.

"Yea," Maya said, tightening the grip on her books. "Tom works at NYU and he enrolled me. We get a cheap price."

"My mom made me go," Nikole laughed. She began mimicking her mother, _"You need an education to fall back on. You don't want to turn out like your cousin, do you?"_

Maya smiled. She loved Nikole. They were so similar.

"So you are a freshman?" Nikole asked her, taking half of Maya's books for her.

"Yes," Maya said. "You're a sophomore, right?"

"Frosh," Nikole said, blushing. "I got held back, because I missed the cut-off date."

Maya suddenly spotted her bus, over in the corner.

"Well," she sighed. "I have to catch my bus, but I will see you tomorrow."

"See ya!" Nikole gave Maya back the rest of her books.

Maya got onto the bus. She chose the first empty seat towards the front of the bus. She took off her sweatshirt and rolled it into a ball. She took one last glance out the window, before laying her head on her sweatshirt and closing her eyes.

o o o o o

Roger sat on his bed, trying to figure out how to tell Mimi what had happened in the bathroom. He knew she would freak and start crying. Surprisingly, he wasn't that shocked it had happened. Ever since Roger left drugs, Gordon has had it out for him. He wanted to just ignore it, but he couldn't endanger Mark. He wanted to tell someone, but he was afraid that Gordon might rebel and send someone for Mimi. The door suddenly opened and Mimi came in with a smile plastered on her face.

"Hi Roger," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled back and her smile instant. "What is wrong," she said, placing a hand on his cheek.

Roger let out a small laugh, despite of the situation.

"I really don't care if Gordon is threatening _me, _but once he brought you into it, I was pretty pissed. Then, I met some guy in the bathroom and he threatened Mark too and-"

"What are you talking about?" Mimi asked, with a weird expression on her face.

"Just listen," Roger sighed. "Like, he…he….well the guy was mad and kind of violent. He threatened to give Mark AIDS if I didn't go back to drugs."

"This is so fucking screwed up! Why?" Mimi stood up and began pacing.

"He just wants to mess with our lives. You know Gordon. He is always being a jerk and ruining everything!"

"Roger, do you think he is really going to go through with it?" Mimi said, as she stopped and looked at him.

"No," Roger said. "His life is full of broken promises and lies."

"_I hope," _he added silently to himself.

o o o o o

Maureen found herself, sitting on the roof of the loft with a pen and a microphone. Mark had told her about what the hospital had said. Maureen, being Maureen, decided to do what she did best: switch the attention over to her. She had huffed out of the room in a rage and told Mark she needed to find herself on the roof. Mark had just looked at her, but let her go.

"Don't jump," he said dully as she slammed the door.

Maureen glanced over the edge of the building. She sighed. Of course, she wouldn't jump. For one, it would be too messy. Two, when she died, she wanted an audience and a dramatic ceremony. She had thought at one time, that AIDS would be the perfect answer to a dramatic death, but too many people had it. She hated being the same as other people. She wanted to be different.

She leaned on the side of the building and stared down at the people passing by. A beautiful black woman, holding a young girl by the hand, turned towards the loft. Maureen stared down at her, trying to figure out why she was there. She walked downstairs and onto the landing.

"Joanne?" Maureen exclaimed. The woman who was standing at the bottom of the stairs gasped.

"Maur?" she said. Maureen nodded. Joanne suddenly coughed, "I mean, err, Maureen."

"What are you doing here?" Maureen said.

"I actually came to see if Mark was here," Joanne laughed. "I need to see if he wants to videotape a press conference for our commercial."

"Our?" Maureen asked.

"David and I. Have you heard of Hans & Jefferson Firm?"

"Nope." Maureen began to feel uncomfortable and inferior to Joanne. She was used to this feeling. She hated it, but continued to stand there.

"Well," she sighed, beginning her story, "I met him at a lawyer convention. He was in a firm and told me I should join. He was very impressed with my work. I talked to my boss, but he said they wouldn't accept any lesbians. I went to my parent's house, seeking help. My parents never really approved of you, so they set me up with a wonderful young man. He had just gotten out of a marriage. We have been dating since Christmas. That is when we took over the firm and here I am."

"Who is that?" Maureen asked as she bent down and looked at the little girl.

"David's daughter," Joanne sniffed. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to see Mark."

"You're not happy Joanne. I can tell," Maureen said, retreating down the stairs. Joanne stood, planted to the spot. She felt Maureen's stare, linger with her as the drama queen's footsteps echoed down the hall.

o o o o o

Mark sat in his room, staring out the window. He was starting to regret, shooting without a script. He had to start his job in two days and he had nothing to present to Alexi. All he had was his Christmas tapes, but they were strictly for his friends.

"Why did I ever decide to shoot without a script?" he asked out loud as he kicked the side of the couch and watched it tremble.

"_I will walk outside and videotape the shoppers. Than I can do a documentary on last minute shoppers and how stress is the number one reason people die around Christmas," Mark thought out loud. He was sitting on the floor of his room. He had a bunch of reels lying around him. He stared into his camera and tried to figure out what to do next._

_He had been suffering from writer's block since June, when April died. He hated writing scripts. They were tearing him apart lately. He sighed as he threw his pen on the ground._

_After April died, he had less and less ideas. The only thing that actually had any purpose to film was Roger. He would tape his progress with his withdrawal. He loved the pain that was expressed through the lens. It made the audience feel as if they were going through withdrawal, along with the blonde haired rock star. All this filming was making him depressed though. He decided to think of new things to film, along with his suffering best friend. In July, he had taped rainstorms a lot, to match the anger and sadness that filled the loft. In August, he interviewed people on the street, but always got dirty glares or stupid comments from random pedestrians. In October, he had attempted to videotape a ghost or some spirit. He knew the idea was stupid, because he didn't believe in ghosts, but he was running out of ideas. After the ghost idea failed he started video-taping different fashions on the street, but Roger had called him a "fag" for caring about what people wore. After that, he never looked at an outfit on the street again. In November, he had asked his friends to be in a movie with an actual script. Of course, Maureen wanted to star in it, but the starring role was a male. Mark remembered pulling out the script and highlighting her part. She wanted more lines, but Mark had explained that he couldn't change the script. She pouted and ranted and yelled at him. Collins had agreed, but was never home, so there was no point. Benny had been long gone, so he wasn't even an option and Roger just told Mark to "fuck off!" A one-woman cast was pathetic and he knew it. Maureen had tried to convince him to make the show a monologue, but he refused, which sent her into an angry state. It was probably one of the unknown reasons she broke up with him._

"_She broke up with me, because I am boring," he laughed out loud, in spite of the situation. He picked up the script that he was going to use for the movie. It was called, "In Debt." It was about a man, striving to support his family, his dream, and his temptations. The script was so stupid._

"_Why would anyone want to watch something about a broke loser, who had dreams but couldn't fulfill them?" Mark knew the feeling of his character. Mark wanted to get out there and be known, but he couldn't. Roger had discovered he had AIDS and was dealing with withdrawal and Benny was making the rent higher everyday. He sighed. He hated the Bohemian life._

"_I hate scripts too!" he exclaimed, combining what he said with his thoughts. He often did that, because there was no one to talk to around the loft. Once in a while he had a conversation with the young Spanish girl on the floor below them, but she was always high or on her way to work. It was hard enough, dealing with his best friend, who had just gotten over withdrawal; he didn't have to time to deal with more junkies._

"_Screw it," he thought, picking up his camera and opening his door. Roger was sitting on the couch. He was tuning the guitar that he hadn't played since April died. Mark smiled. Roger was finally moving on._

"_It is time for you to move on and start a new leaf too," said a voice inside his head._

_He began filming the loft and narrating._

"_December 24, 9 p.m. eastern standard time. From here on in I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it," he glanced back at the door to his bedroom, which was cracked open, revealing the many unsuccessful reels of tape. "Instead of my old shit!"_


	20. Rainy Dreams

**Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was on Spring Break! It was awesome. Anyway, I am really trying to update quicker and quicker. Stick with me and it will all turn out in the end. Haha. **

**Remember: I'm a review Whore!**

**Rainy Dreams**

Roger sat in the waiting room at the hospital. He hated hospitals. He knew that this was the one place where all his friends, except Mark and Maureen, would die painfully. He sighed. He kept staring at the door, nervously, expecting Mimi to come bursting through the door, yelling at him. He had not told her he was coming here. After Mimi left for work, Mark had come down and told him the hospital had a new prescription for him and Roger headed towards the hospital.

"Davis," said a young girl, behind the counter of the front desk.

Roger stood up, feeling out of place.

"Room 217," she sighed, popping her gum.

"217," whispered a hoarse voice from the corner of the room. Roger turned and saw two older women talking. "That is the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome room. He must be positive."

"Poor soul," said the old lady sitting next to her.

Roger stomped away from their voices and searched for the room. When he found it, he opened the door and saw a man with a clipboard.

"Roger?"

"Yes?" Roger sat down on the table, not sure of what to do.

"Here is your new prescription. It is a stronger one," the doctor said. "You got our message, correct?"

"No," he said. "My roommate relayed the message to me."

"You aren't responding well to the other one," he said. He handed him a small envelope.

"I should still take my AZT, though, right?" Roger asked.

"No!" the doctor yelled, a little too loud. "I mean, you should stick to this prescription."

Roger sighed and walked out of the room. He wanted to get out of the hospital as fast as he could.

The doctor watched him as he left the building. The minute the door closed behind him, the doctor took off his white coat and hung it on the rack in the corner.

"Roger Davis?" said a young brown haired nurse.

"Yes?" the doctor asked.

"You're late," she said. "Your usual doctor isn't in, but he said that he wishes you the best." She looked at her clipboard and pulled a small bottle out of her nurse uniform pocket. "This is a stronger version of the old AZT. You are to take it every 3 hours, instead of four. Understood?"

"Yea," the doctor smirked.

He walked away, out the door, and down the street. He took the bottle and tossed it in the garbage can.

His cell phone began to ring and he dug into his pocket and answered it.

"The plan worked perfectly. I watched them leave the message at his house and came in at the right time." He paused and then smiled. "Oh yes, I make a very convincing doctor," he laughed into the phone.

o o o o o

"Well," the manager of the CatScratch club sighed. He was standing in front of the employees of the dance club. "Tonight is the last night. I am going to miss you all." The short man began pacing. He reached up and scratched his buzz cut. "It was fun while it lasted."

"Mimi," he said before walking away. "Be here at 6. You are going to lead the dance." Mimi smiled on the inside. She was used to leading, but she never imagined that she would be remembered as the last lead dancer at the club. The girls began making their way to the doors. The moment Mimi stepped outside, she was met by Roger.

"Hi," she said, kissing him. "What is in your hand?"

"My new prescription," Roger said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"A new what?" she said, stepping back. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It isn't a big deal," he laughed. "I wasn't responding well to the AZT, so now they have me on this."

"The doctors took you off the AZT?" she gasped.

"Yes," he said. "Why? Mimi stop, its okay. I trust the doctors."

"Since when have you trusted anyone?" Mimi exclaimed.

"The day I met you," he said in a voice that always made Mimi want to melt.

She gave him a light punch and grabbed his hand. They walked home, without a care in the world.

For the moment, at least.

o o o o o

_It was a rainy day. I held my camera close to my chest. My fingers were itching to start rolling the film. I wanted to catch everything on tape. I wanted to be able to record the day, so I could forget it. I hated the way I was. I hated how I had to act that way. I hated how the days I hated, I could never get out of my head, because I couldn't videotape my worst moments. I hated how the happiest moments I can get on tape, but I could never remember them, because I could forget them once I caught them. Maybe that was, because I couldn't tape the worst moments, so I couldn't forget them, so I would have to live my life thinking of the bad and sad. I wanted to be able to wake up and smile. Smile all day. I never wanted the smile to leave my face. I knew that couldn't happen though. _

_I stared at the coffin that lay in front of me. All the Bohemians, minus one stared at the closed coffin. There was a sad, but sweet noise coming from inside of it. Collins came up next to me and put an arm around me._

"_Go," Collins whispered._

_I did go. I didn't want to go, but I did. I walked over to the coffin. I laid my hand on the brown wood. It looked so pretty among the rain._

_I opened the coffin and gasped as the sweet music came out. It filled the air and I felt for a moment at peace, until I looked down._

Mark sat up in a sweaty mess. He put his hand to his head. He frantically threw the blankets off of him. He shuddered and quickly looked out the window. He saw Mimi and Roger coming up the street.

He sighed in relief. He sat back and reflected on his dream. He wasn't sure what had happened. All he knew was that he wouldn't know what to do if he had lost any of them. He brought his legs up to his chest and waited for the couple to walk into the room.

o o o o o

Maya sat on the floor of her room, doing her homework. Tom had not come home yet and she began to feel scared, being all alone. She wanted to go upstairs and talk to Mimi, but she knew she couldn't face Mimi for a while. She was still too ashamed at her attempt at drugs. Maya still took the needle out once in a while, just to stare at it. She was too scared to attempt it. She was too scared to inject the pointy metal end into her veins. She shuddered at the thought.

There was a loud knock on the door. Maya walked over and peeked through a hole in the wall, which they used as a peep hole, to see who was at the door.

Mimi was standing outside, staring at the wall opposite the door, tapping her foot. Maya slowly opened the door.

Mimi walked in and pulled Maya into a hug.

"I am sorry Mimi," Maya said, after a long silence.

"Just promise me you will stay away from drugs and open up to this family," Mimi said, giving her a serious look.

Maya nodded and followed her out of the room. She gave one last glance back at the needle, lying on the floor.


	21. Pointless Holidays

**Hi guys. I am so sorry it took so long for me to update. Please don't hate me! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. My best friend Casy's birthday was this Monday. Hurray! I wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday. Anyway...**

**The next chapter will be the last chapter, because I am breaking down this whole story into three books. So I hope you enjot the first part of it. Please continue to read and review. It means so much to me!**

* * *

****

**Pointless Holidays**

"Mark, are you okay," Roger asked Mark as he walked into the loft. Mark was sitting on the couch, curled up into a ball and very pale.

Roger made his way over to the kitchen counter, waiting for Mark's answer. Silence was the only sound that met him.

"Mark?" Roger repeated, putting his hands on the counter. "MARK?" Roger yelled. Mark suddenly snapped out of it and stared at him.

"What?" he said crankily.

Roger just shook his head and stared down at the counter.

"Joanne stopped by before," Mark said, changing the subject. Roger glanced up at him and smiled.

"Really?"

"Yea, she has a boyfriend, who has a kid. She started a law firm with him," Mark laughed picking up his camera.

"What is your point?" Roger put his finger in a small pile of coffee grain and spread it around the sorry excuse for a counter.

"She wants me to film a meeting for part of their commercial. She said she will pay me and everything, but I don't know."

"By filming, you will be giving in and selling out. What ever happened to all your determination to keep your work until you hit it big on your own? I mean, look at you, you have been tempted by Alexi Darling's offers ever since Maureen's protest and you still haven't gave in."

Roger looked up and smiled at Mark. Mark just sat there with a defeated and guilty expression on his face.

"You did?" Roger gasped. Mark just nodded and looked at the ground.

"I needed the money for your new prescription," Mark sighed. "By the way, did you pick it up at the hospital?"

Roger put his hand in his pocket and clasped it around the small envelope that contained the tube of pills.

"Yes," he said. "They took me off AZT."

"What?" Mark said, getting up for the first time. "Are they crazy? I though AZT was the only medicine to fight….."

Mark stopped. He hated using the word AIDS in front of Roger.

"AIDS?" Roger asked fiercely.

"Yea," mumbled Mark.

Roger turned on his heel and went to sit on the couch. He pulled out the envelope and stared at it.

Mark picked up his camera and began filming, "close on Roger. His prescription was changed, because he wasn't responding well to the other one. Well, he doesn't really respond well to _anyone _for that matter."

"Fuck off," Roger whispered.

o o o o o

Maureen walked down the street, looking for something, anything to do. Seeing Joanne again made her jealous. She was usually not used to this feeling, but she felt it. She wanted to run in and be with Mark, but he was probably with his camera. Joanne had a boyfriend and Maureen was beginning to feel as if she had no one.

She had only felt this way once before in her life. She was 10 and she had the biggest crush on the football star in her class. She was the freaky girl who always was in the plays and musicals. He never gave her one glance. One day she gathered up the courage to say, "Hi." He still didn't notice her and Maureen began to become frustrated. Everyone in her class had a "boyfriend." She finally told him that she liked him and he simply said, "You're weird." The week after that Maureen had that hopeless, lonely feeling of having no one. Then puberty started and she never felt alone.

She sighed and continued down the street. She passed by a newspaper stand and picked one up.

The headline read, "February 13."

Maureen smiled, "Valentine's Day is tomorrow."

She dropped the paper and ran home to get her money.

o o o o o

Maya was lying on the bed, writing in a red leather book Collins had just handed her.

"Keep your most precious thoughts in here," he had said, handing her the book.

She looked up and saw him sitting on the chair, reading his paperwork. She smiled and continued writing.

_Tom gave me this book today. I have never really kept a diary. It is nice. I can just open up. I have only been here for about a month, but I have never been happier. I have met a great person named Mimi. She is everything I aspire to be. She has an asshole of a boyfriend, named Roger, but whatever. She has aids, along with Roger and Tom. I am really scared Tom might die. Anyway, a friend of mine at school introduced me to drugs. I have been threatened by Mimi that if I take them, she will kick me out, but I know she doesn't mean it. I just hate myself for being such a chicken about taking them. The first guy I bought them from was the Man. He got arrested though, because he was threatening Roger or something. Alright, I am getting bored of writing, so I am going to go now._

_Maya_

"_Are you supposed to sign your name after a diary entry?" _Maya thought. She wasn't really sure; she had never actually owned a diary. She sighed and closed the book.

o o o o o

Mimi stood on line at the instrument store. She kept looking behind her, as if she was expecting someone.

"May I help you?" the clerk asked. Mimi turned around and laid a dollar bill on the counter. She slowly picked up a guitar pick out of a wicker basket next to the cash register. She dug through the basket until she found the perfect color. She smiled and walked out of the store.

o o o o o

Roger sat on Mimi's bed, frowning. He needed the perfect gift for Valentine's Day. He played the same chords on his guitar over and over, but nothing sounded perfect. He could just get her flowers, but that was so plain. He needed something that would prove his love and devotion to her. He sighed and continued playing.

o o o o o

Mark turned on his camera and began to narrate. "February 13, 3 p.m. eastern standard………………..oh crap!"

He quickly shut off the camera and paced up and down.

"What I am going to get Maureen?" he said out loud. Suddenly, Maureen walked through the door.

"Oh hi," she said slowly.

"Hey," Mark said.

"I just came to get my money. I am going to get a bite to eat," she laughed nervously.

"Yea," he smiled. She quickly dashed by him and grabbed her wallet, which was mostly empty.

"Bye Maur," Mark called after the closed door.

o o o o o

"Valentine's Day is by far the stupidest holiday in the world. There is no point in it," Roger complained. He was sitting in the loft, watching Mark make coffee.

"I guess that means you don't know what to get Mimi," Mark laughed.

Roger's face clouded over. "I would get her flowers, but they are so plain."

"Thanks a lot," Mark sighed, staring at the bouquet of black and white roses he had bought at the store.

"Why are they black and white?" Roger asked, giving him a weird look.

"It represents Elsie. You remember? That cow that she sang about in her protest the year you met Mimi."

"Oh yea," Roger mumbled. He thought it was tacky and stupid, but he was also jealous that Mark had gotten Roger a gift. "That's a stupid gift."

Mark glared at him.

He wanted to get her something meaningful.

"_Something that proves my devotion,"_ he thought. _"She is getting healthier though. That means it may not be her last year. I can hold off on giving her something that special. Maybe I am just procrastinating. Before I know it, it will be too late."_

"You're right," Mark said.

"What?" Roger said, shocked. Had he been talking out loud? He was positive that he had kept his thoughts in his head.

"The gift is stupid," Mark said in a defeated tone.

"No," Roger said. "It's perfect." He stood up and stretched. Mark began to brainstorm and think about what to give Maureen.

_There is no point to this stupid holiday._


	22. Wake Up

**This is it guys. The last chapter of Part I of Without You I Die. But don't worry, the second part of the story is done and I just need to stop being lazy and post. I really hope you enjoyed the first part and please continue reading the second and third. After the third, my longest and most strugglesome story will be over. **

**But I won't waste your time another moment. Here it is: please read and review.**

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**Wake Up**

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Mimi was sitting in the Life Café, staring at the guitar pick she had just bought. She rubbed her finger over the smooth wood. She laughed at herself.

"He is going to hate me for this," she said quietly.

"Hate you for what?" said a loud voice. She looked up and saw Benny. He was in his work clothes.

"Are you on your break?" she asked.

"Yea," he laughed. "I actually got one today."

Mimi smiled and slipped the pick in her pocket.

"Would you care to do something tonight?" he asked.

"Wish I could," she said sarcastically. "I have work. It's my last day." She glared at him and began to stand up. He moved in front of her.

"How about tomorrow night?" he said. "I am free."

"Benny," she sighed. "You're married, remember? Besides, it is Valentine's Day tomorrow. I am going to be spending it with the one I love."

"Perfect," he laughed. "Come on Mimi, why won't you give us another chance?"

"Because I don't love you," she sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. With that, she briskly walked out of the café and onto the street.

Many people were busy, rushing around the street. She could have sworn she saw Maureen and she went to wave to her, when she heard a familiar beep. She looked up and saw a young girl reach into her pocket and pull out a bottle of AZT. Mimi couldn't remember the last time she had taken hers, so she looked down at her beeper. The little green light, which signaled it was on, was flashing red, which meant the batteries had died.

"Shit," she cursed. She ran in the direction of the loft, in order to get some batteries and her pills, which she had neglected to take with her.

The apartment was empty, when Mimi burst through the doors. She immediately went to the almost empty cabinets of the kitchen area. Inside were two bottles of pills. Without thinking, she grabbed the closest one. She tilted her head back and cupped her hand over her mouth and swallowed the pills. She coughed slightly as the pills roughly made their way down her throat.

She felt an odd burning sensation, but ignored it as she made her way to the bathroom, attempting to fix her hopeless hair. She dropped her hair tie and bent down to get it, but the minute she did, she felt very dizzy. She took a deep breath and tried to clear her head.

"I'm fine," she said, trying to reassure herself. With that, she passed out on the cold bathroom floor.

o o o o o

Maya was eating a cold bowl of soup, by the window when Collins walked in.

"How is school?" he asked, patting her knee.

"Good," she said. "Listen. Tom. I am sorry. I am sorry for hurting you, if I did. I talked to Mimi and I realize what a stupid decision I made by even thinking about taking drugs. And I-"

"Maya," he laughed, pulling her into a hug. "I understand the city is a bit overwhelming at first. Just promise me you won't get into too much trouble." He laughed again and ruffled her hair. Maya saw a small tear form in his eye.

"What?" she asked.

"Just thinking," he grabbed her hand and smiled a sad smile. "Thinking about how proud Angel would be of you."

"You loved her, didn't you?" Maya said, feeling bad for her new father who had no one to love.

"I did," he said. Then, as if reading her mind he continued, "But Angel is looking out for me and he brought us together. So now I have a daughter to love. With you, I will never be lonely."

There was a loud thump upstairs that broke the silence. Collins looked up at the ceiling and rolled his eyes.

"No consideration for the neighbors," he said sarcastically.

o o o o o

Roger entered the apartment. He made his way over to the cabinet and grabbed his pills and shoved them in his pocket. He headed for the bathroom, so he could get a drink of water, before taking the pills. Then, he would take a nap before Mimi's last performance, which he planned on attending. The second he walked in, he jumped back.

"MARK," he yelled.

He bent down and scooped Mimi up. She was breathing slow, hoarse gasps of air. He stumbled out of the room, with her in his arms and made his way to the loft. He stuck out one dirty boot and kicked the metal door. Mark slid it open immediately.

"What did you do?" Mark asked.

"Call an ambulance," Roger said pushing past him.

"MIMI," Maureen screamed, coming out of the bedroom.

"CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE," Roger cried.

Maureen ran to the phone and dialed 9-1-1. "Please hurry," was all Roger heard her say. Collins had come up to see what the entire racket was about. Maya came up behind him.

"Maya go back downstairs," Collins said quickly, noticing Roger, who was glaring at her.

"No," Roger said calmly. "Let her stay." He gave Maya a half-smile and turned back to Mimi.

"Mimi," Roger whispered. "Wake up." He gently shook her small frame. "Wake up."

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**Hooray! I survived the first part. Oh no, I might start crying :p Kay. Keep Reading! I love you guys!**


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